If you’re not ultra-hyped for C.J. McCollum, you should get yourself checked out at a professional doctor or something. He has lately been beasting out his mind thanks to the timely injuries of Wes Matthews and Arron Afflalo. His stats are so sick that you would have to be comatose to not get hyped when looking at them. If I even think for one second about C.J., I get an urge to sell all my possessions and move to Portland. Nothing should ever stand in the way between C.J. and bodacious scoring performances.
On that note, I have a special message for Terry Stotts: If C.J. doesn’t get thirty minutes per game in the playoffs, you’re fired.
That’s right. I have a phone in my office that patches me directly to Commissioner Silver. One phone call is all that it would take to get you fired. He’ll listen to anything I say. I’m one of his most trusted advisors. If I want something to happen, he makes it happen. This is how I got rid of Brandon Knight in Milwaukee. Silver says that if I play my cards right I can tell the refs who should win in the Finals. I’m thinking Hawks, but my opinion can be bought…for a fee. Anyway, back to Terry. His ass is grass if C.J. doesn’t average eighteen PPG in the playoffs. I’m serious as hell right now.