I’m currently in the process of trying to figure out what the Nets organization did to Jerryd Bayless to make him hate them so much. Whatever it was, it must have been really grievous, because Jerryd wants nothing more than to take a big dump on their team whenever he can. First it was 26…
Read MoreDay: November 7, 2015
Isaiah Canaan 23 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Once you come to grips with the fact that Isaiah Canaan is not a point guard and should never ever be played at that position ever (EVER!), you realize that he’s not that bad of a player. He’s like a slightly less swaggy Lou Williams. If you like guys like that, first of all I…
Read MoreMario Hezonja 11 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Mario Hezonja is the perfect role model for teens who need somebody to look up to. I’m not talking about Croatian teens, although I guess they could look up to him too if they really wanted. What I’m talking about here is kids with bad acne. Hezonja is proof positive that even if you have…
Read MoreEric Gordon 21 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Why can’t the Pelicans win a game? They’re 0-6 right now even with Anthony Davis beasting. Here’s a list I came up with which is entitled “DTB’s List of Reasons Why the Pelicans Can’t Win a Game”: -Tyreke Evans is trapped under a mountain of beads on Bourbon Street -Anthony Davis shoots too many threes…
Read MoreDwight Powell 15 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Dwight Powell did not consider himself a particularly well-written man, but nevertheless, he found himself a piece of paper and began to compose a letter. “Dear Tyson, I know that you hate the Mavs now. I can’t claim to understand, since I’ve never been important enough to a team that my forced departure could be…
Read MoreTrey Burke 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Trey Burke was such absolute garbage last year that it actually physically hurts me that he’s playing well this year. It’s like there’s a little part of me that exists only to throw shade on Burke, and now that the shade is being withheld, it’s letting me know by introducing stabbing pains in my chest…
Read MoreElfrid Payton 20 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
There are a lot of great storylines going on right now with the Magic: -How Skiles reacts to being burdened with Tobias Harris again -Can Dewayne hit more than 20 shots over the whole season? -Mario Hezonja -How bald does Jason Smith look by the end of the season? -Do they resign Ben Gordon? -Putting…
Read MoreOtto Porter Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Attention developers of the current NBA season: Otto Porter is OP, please nerf. Whose idea was it to add such an unbalanced character to the game? A 6’9″ small forward with good athleticism and a sweet shooting stroke? Combined with his potential? He makes so many other players irrelevant, like, why even have some of…
Read MoreNik Stauskas 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Nik Stauskas has been putting up some nice scoring games (by his standards) lately, this is a way better stretch than anything he did with the Kings. The casual fan might gaze slack-jawed at the boxscores and determine “Sauce Castillo is a beast hurrrrr”. An enlightened fan (like me) Looking deeper at the advanced stats…
Read MoreKent Bazemore Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Kent Bazemore has impressed me this season by, you know, actually kind of playing good sorta. Why pay DeMarre Carroll big bucks to be a roleplayer when you can have similar-ish production for a fraction of the cost? Obviously, his improved play is a result of the Hawks system, but that doesn’t mean that he…
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