I watch these highlights and I feel nothing. Tobias Harris on the Bucks is such a distant memory that it almost seems like from another life. He was such a big part of my fandom back then, but now… Now, it’s like all that never even happened. All the times he got benched by Skiles…
Read MoreMonth: November 2015
Clint Capela 16 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2015)
Conspiracy theory time: Kevin McHale didn’t get fired because he was winning too few games, he got fired because he was turning too many losses into wins through his above-average coaching. Morey realized that this year is not the Rockets’ year. He knows what it takes to succeed in the NBA, and he decided, correctly,…
Read MoreKristaps Porzingis 24 Points/7 Blocks Full Highlights (11/21/2015)
So what if a few bad (big) apples booed Kristaps Porzingis when he got drafted? They didn’t get Jahlil or Russell or anyone that they had heard of, so they booed. A totally understandable reaction. Who is to say that their opinion holds less or more weight than a more informed fan’s? Besides, what if…
Read MoreIsh Smith 17 Points/13 Assists Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
More god damn Ish Smith highlights. I am now one-hundred percent convinced that aliens abducted Ish Smith and Steve Nash, took all the basketball skills out of Nash and put them into Smith, and sent them both back to Earth so that the Pelicans could make the playoffs and Ish could be an All-Star. It’s…
Read MoreMarc Gasol Triple Double 16 pts/11 asts/11 rebs Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
Marc Gasol not only looks sort of like a potato, but he was also playing like one to start the season. He endured some rough shooting nights and often would only find solace in eating entire boxes of Bagel Bites, but all the hardship has paid off now that he has finally amassed enough stats…
Read MoreEd Davis 17 Points/15 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
Shilling for McDonalds’ food products is a plague which is overtaking NBA commentary crews nationwide. First it was the Jazz commentators talking about how much they love McFlurries even though a neutral third party would doubtlessly find the consuption of a McFlurry akin to eating a bowl of wallpaper paste. Now it’s the Blazers commentators…
Read MoreKirk Hinrich 17 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
I relax in my office, content for a moment to simply watch the snow fall outside my window and to pet my cat, Japurri Purrker. Nothing can disturb the deep serenity of the winter morning. Nothing but… My phone rings. Japurri, startled by the noise, hops off my lap and trots to his kitty condo….
Read MoreAvery Bradley 21 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
On a night where the Celtics tallied 39 assists, Avery Bradley has exactly zero of them. Now, I understand that the Celtics have two ball-handling PGs in Isaiah Thomas and Marcus Smart, plus a point-forward-type-thing named Evan Turner, but right now I don’t feel like allowing those facts to get in the way of my…
Read MoreGary Harris 20 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
OFFICIAL COMFY THINGS THAT DTB IS CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING POWER RANKINGS 1. It’s snowing outside right now 1.5 The world is covered in pure white snow 2. I have a mug of hot chocolate 3. I just got to watch Gary Harris score a career-high 4. Warm socks adorn my feetsies 5. I’m listening to one…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 30 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
The Voodoo Queen’s dying screams finally subsided, and as they did, Ryan felt his mind clear, as if freed from the oppressive presence of a foreign consciousness. That was strange, he thought, because if the Queen had been controlling his thoughts, and he had just killed her… “That was some pretty good aim, dog,” Devonte…
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