Ricky Rubio is currently shooting a career-best 38.7% from the field. He’s also attempting a career-low 6.6 field goals per game. The two might be connected if he’s being pickier with his shots and only taking ones he thinks he can make. Unrelated to those two stats is his ETL (Eyelash Thickness Level) which is at a stunning 96.4%, although it should be noted that levels higher than 100% can be achieved through the use of mascara. Since ETL has only been calculated by me since right now at this very moment, I can’t go back and compare Rubio’s current ETL to his ETL of past seasons, but I suspect that this is also a career-high for him.
Some would say that these stats are not good enough for a starting point guard. Others would say that his low volume is perfect for a team like the Timberwolves where he is surrounded by prime offensive talent that will only improve as the years pass (something that might not be true for Rubio). Yet others would say that Ricky has cute eyes, cute stubble, and overall is a very handsome man. My own position is that Rubio could probably lead a team to the playoffs, but a team with him as the starting point guard would be unlikely to make the finals, no matter how cute he is or how tantalizing his eyes are.
Ricky had a sweet 12/9 line at halftime of this game, so the main theme of this video, other than handsomeness, is disappointment. That’s also sort of the theme of his career. Now I’ve made myself sad again.