I’m running out of ways to say it: I’m #hypedforgaryharris. He’s playing so well lately that I’m almost worried that he’s peaking as a player. Please let me be wrong about that. How would I ever sustain my hype for Gary Harris if he reached his pinnacle as a 22-year-old averaging fourteen points per game?…
Read MoreDay: March 23, 2017
Kristaps Porzingis 24 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
Just when you thought that Kristaps “Jesus Krist” Porzingis had graduated from my channel for being to good, DTB pops you right in the mouth with another thick slab of Kristy-P highlights action! His monthlong absence from my channel was more due to the quality of his play than any decision on my end to…
Read MoreShawn Long 13 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
So, I wanted to see if Shawn Long lives up to his last name (not in that way you sicko), so I pulled up draftexpress and found out that his wingspan is seven-foot-one. So he’s not an insane freak of nature, but his arms are longer than he is tall, so that qualifies him as…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 24 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
If you go off of per 36 stats, which are the best stats in the world because they allow you to compare bench players to starters, Enes Kanter is a top 20 scorer in the NBA, scoring 24 points per 36 minutes. Teammate Josh Huestis is even better, scoring 36 points per 36 minutes, but…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 21 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
Today I had the police called on me. So I woke up this morning in the mood to make some more highlight videos, but as has been happening for the past few weeks, when I walked into my living room my attention was immediately diverted to, you guessed it, the twelve-foot-tall 3D-printed naked purple Buddy…
Read MoreRudy Gobert Career High 35 Points/8 Dunks Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
For hours, Rudy Gobert had been waiting patiently for his guest to wake up. He didn’t feel like waiting anymore. Retrieving a nearby bucket of ice water he had set aside specifically for this purpose, he dumped the entire contents onto the head of the unconscious man strapped to the chair. The shirtless man immediately…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 29 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
Man, I used to rag so hard on Tim Hardaway Jr. for not doing anything besides scoring. Back in my earlier, angrier days, where everyone was a bust and everyone sucked. I still kind of think those things, but I don’t type them out as much. NBA players have feelings to, and they, for the…
Read MoreNik Stauskas 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
Two 20-point games in a row for Nik Stauskas. Consecutively. Without interruption. According to DTB’S OFFICIAL CRITERIA FOR BEING CONSIDERED A GOOD BASKETBALL PLAYER, that means Nik Stauskas can be considered a good basketball player! Are you excited? You really shouldn’t be, because DTB’S OFFICIAL CRITERIA are noted for their shoddiness and their inability to…
Read MorePaul Zipser 15 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
This is it. The final video depicting the heroitc feats of “White Foreign Bigman Combo” (tentatively alternate nickname: “Vanilla Sriracha”), a tandem consisting of Mirotic, Lauvergne, and Pääul Zïpßer. I hope you enjoyed this trip into the deepest and whitest part of the Bulls roster as much as I did. Zipser did his part in…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 17 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2017)
The second component of the Chicago Bulls’ “White Foreign Bigman Combo” (better nickname pending still pending), Joffrey Lauvergne, has finally had a good game with them. He was still part of the combo even before then, but that was only because they needed a third dude for the combo. Not because he was any good….
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