“Monsieur Gobert! Monsieur Gobert! Your esteemed guest has arrived!” Rudy Gobert rolled his eyes at his bumbling, bespectacled butler. “If you weren’t such an intolerable fool, Remi, you would be able to take his coat and invite him in to the parlor without running to me for guidance.” “Yes, sir! Of course, sir! I will…
Read MoreMonth: May 2017
Avery Bradley 27 Points Full Highlights (5/12/2017)
If I was Avery Bradley, I would be pissed off. Not just because my team lost the game, but because my apparently “clutch” shot with 39 seconds left in the game became significantly less clutch after three more shots were subsequently made by other players. Bradley was supposed to be the hero, but Beal, Horford,…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 20 Points Full Highlights (5/11/2017)
Well, Trevor Ariza showed up I guess? He was the only Rocket who played acceptably from a box-score perspective as the Rockets got blown out by almost forty in an elimination game. If you take his 6-of-12 shooting out, the Rockets don’t even shoot 25% from the field for the game (16 of 65), are…
Read MoreJonathon Simmons 18 Points Full Highlights (5/11/2017)
Jonathon Simmons: Better than James Harden? Let’s take a look at the facts: POINTS: Simmons scored 18 points in this game. Harden scored 10 (LOL [lots of laughs]). ADVANTAGE: Simmons DEFENSE: Simmons plays defense. Harden doesn’t. ADVANTAGE: Simmons PASSING: Simmons had four assists. Harden had seven. But Harden’s assists were just a product of him…
Read MoreAvery Bradley 29 Points Full Highlights (5/10/2017)
Usually, when a player scores a large amount of points in the first half of a game (in Avery Bradley’s case, 25), I am unable to control my body’s natural responses to the event and I lose the ability to control my hype. My BHL (blood hype level) spikes and I will behave erratically, then…
Read MorePatrick Beverley 20 Points Full Highlights (5/9/2017)
Patrick Beverley: does he play too much defense? Yes. If he didn’t play as much defense as he does, then the chances would be higher that this Rockets-Spurs series would just be a nonstop scoring exhibition. The Spurs have a potent offense when they’re allowed to run it the way they want, but with Beverley…
Read MorePatty Mills 20 Points Full Highlights (5/9/2017)
Since I make highlight videos and not “lowlight” videos, this video does not contain the sequence at the end of regulation where Patty Mills isoed against James Harden, pump-faked, and failed to get off a shot before time expired. The shot he released a half-second too late banked in off the glass, the home crowd…
Read MoreDante Exum 15 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2017)
Since Jazz fans are probably feeling a little bit delicate right now, I’m not even going to call Dante Exum a bust in this description. I will even say that he had a great first half, and made some big plays that got the crowd back into the game. He had a few plays that…
Read MoreShelvin Mack 18 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2017)
From getting DNP’s earlier in the season to starting a playoff game where the aim was to avoid being swept, Shelvin “The Macksturbator” Mack has come a long way, but in the end, the sweep happened while he was at the helm. The Macksturbator played about as well as could be expected in this game;…
Read MoreJonathon Simmons 17 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2017)
Jonathon Simmons highlight videos just aren’t the same if they don’t feature the San Antonio commentators. The excitement of Simmons’ drives to the hoop is made less exciting by the absence of that one guy yelling “OH MAMA…the JUICE!!!!” while the other guy chuckles uncontrollably like he smoked a huge doobie before the game. I…
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