In the interest of bringing only the original-est, most entertaining content to my video descriptions, I promise not to ever use the adjective “sizzling” when referring to Dwayne (finally someone who spelled it correctly) Bacon. Not once, over the whole year. It would be so easy, just incredibly easy, to say it when he has a good shooting night. But I will not. There is fruit hanging so low that I refuse to pick it.
If I ever do slip up and use that descriptor, feel free to unsubscribe. I would deserve no less.
For my own reference, I have come up with some more adjectives to use in lieu of the newly forbidden one: Black. Tall. Floridian. Warm-blooded. Lithe. Lethean. Not white. Towering. Hairy. Clean-shaven. Shoe-wearing. Talented. Limp. Limpid. Opaque. 18-point scoring.