I’m starting to get the feeling that something is wrong with the Pelicans. They’re fresh off a season that ended with them getting almost swept in the playoffs, but not before they themselves swept a team out of the playoffs. A playoff series win and a superstar (Anthony Davis you dummies, who did you think I was talking about)? Improvement isn’t guaranteed in the NBA, but I wasn’t expecting a .500 team.
I am officially putting Alvin Gentry on the hot seat. I found a cheap ride on craigslist that has those heated seats, you know where you hit the button and it feels like your butt is on fire? I’m really thinking about buying it, and when I do, I’m gonna kidnap Gentry, strap him into the driver’s seat with the seat warmer on, and tell him that he can’t leave until he takes me to the store for a snack restock while telling me what the heck is going on with his team. And I want a real answer. No stock coachspeak like “we have to play harder”, and no blatant falsehoods like “E’Twaun Moore is shooting too many shots”. With each lie he tells I will increase the heat until it’s like sitting on an oven burner. That is how serious I am about getting to the bottom of this.
I’m suspecting that the final verdict will be “Nikola Mirotic’s shaved-face-mojo has finally worn off”.