It was a long time ago now, but try to remember way back to right before the All-Star break. It’ll be tough to recall such ancient history, but somewhere deep in the greyest of your grey matter is a faint memory of Pascal “Suck ‘Em” Siakam scoring 44 points. Retrieve that memory and bring it…
Read MoreMonth: February 2019
Derrick Favors 24 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
OFFICIAL REASONS WHY NO ONE CARES ABOUT DERRICK FAVORS POWER RANKINGS 1. Utah 2. Lame dunks 3. Not enough threes 4. Latent racism (could be combined with “Utah”) 5. Last traded a million years ago 6. Slam dunks that are unexciting OFFICIAL REASONS WHY NO ONE CARES ABOUT DOWNTOBUCK’S “FLAVORS OF FAVORS” COOKBOOK POWER RANKINGS…
Read MoreAnthony Tolliver 16 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
Anthony Tolliver is currently tied for second place in the NBA in one important stat. I don’t like cliffhangers, so I’ll just tell you the stat straight up since you’re obviously very confused right now that there is a stat where The Tollbooth is almost the best in the league. Ready? Heck yes you are:…
Read MoreAllonzo Trier 20 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
I, sacrificing a significant portion of my mortal life on this wretched planet, watched a good chunk of this Knicks game for one reason. Well, two reasons. Reason Numero One: Damyean Dotson was going off and I wanted to see a 40-burger. We know how that turned out. Reason Numero Two: I was hopeful that…
Read MoreLauri Markkanen 25 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
If you consider free throws to be a type of jumper, and you should, because there isn’t anyone I see in the league trying to lay up their foul shots, then all 25 of Lauri Markkanen’s points against the Magic were scored by way of the jumpshot. Note that I’m counting his first two running…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 21 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
Lots of people were interested in this Spurs-Raptors game because of certain players who were returning to certain cities where they spent a certain amount of their career. I’m talking, of course, about Jakob Poeltl and Marco Belinelli. Poeltl was drafted by the Raptors a few years ago and is now busy getting marginalized by…
Read MoreJalen Brunson 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
First off: I’m really sorry to the handful of you viewers out there who saw this video posted as “Jaylen Brunson” highlights. There are just way too many Jaylen/Jalen/Jaelynnes out there for me to be expected to keep track of them all. For the record, when I made the mistake in the video title I…
Read MoreDamyean Dotson 20 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
Out of all the times fans (and myself) have been blue-balled, which is many, many times, this one might be one of the worst. Limiting the discussion to basketball-related cases of blue balls, of course. This is a family-friendly channel and I staunchly refuse to acknowledge that other, more carnal forms of blue-balling might exist….
Read MoreReggie Jackson 32 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
The concept of “tiers” is often helpful to turn the disordered chaos of reality into a compartmentalized list of items. By separating things into these “tiers”, it becomes easier to ignore the churning maelstrom of untethered information that bombards us at all hours of the day. Even a relatively simple subset of objects, such as…
Read MoreWesley Matthews 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/22/2019)
I understand that the Pacers acquired Wes Matthews because they needed a Victor Oladipo replacement. I fully understand that. He gives you like 40% of what Oladipo could, but he’s inexpensive and was good enough once upon a time that fans would approve of the signing. But put yourself in my shoes. Look at the…
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