Man, for a second there it looked like Jae Crowder and… Dorian Finney-Smith??? (let me check I may be misremembering nope it was DFS) were going to throw down right there on the court. But then it was a whole lot of nothing. Come on. We know how hard-edged Crowder is, how he always looks…
Read MoreMonth: February 2019
Ricky Rubio 25 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
Here’s the deal: if I was coaching kids’ basketball, and one of the kids had as flat an arc on his jumpshot as Ricky Rubio does, I would, to the detriment of all the other kids, put all of my coaching effort into getting that kid to shoot the ball correctly. Nobody deserves to live…
Read MoreTaj Gibson 20 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
After setting a season-high in points last game with nineteen, Taj “Mahal” Gibson set another season-high with twenty points in this game. If he can continue incrementing his point totals by one point every game, he should be scoring around forty points per game by the end of the season. Is anybody else really surprised…
Read MoreDerrick Rose 23 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
Derrick Rose dicked the Bucks at the end of the first, second, and third quarters. That’s why my nickname for him is “Dick Rose”, because he dicks people. Luckily (for Bucks fans like me, not pleb Timberwolves/Rose fans like you), by the end of the fourth quarter there was no need for continued dicking, as…
Read MoreLuke Kennard 17 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
In addition to these 17 points, which is really a lot for him these days even though by this point in his career he should be dropping 20-burgers regularly and would be if not for incompetent coaches who don’t know how to use him, Luke Kennard added value in other ways as well. This will…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 23 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
Somehow I had failed up until now to notice that the Hawks have some sweet black-and-gold (real gold, not the fake Lakers banana yellow garbage) alternate uniforms. No doubt I’ve seen them a million times before, but I’m just now SEEING them, and I like it. I still think the ‘Zards made the wrong choice…
Read MoreAnte Zizic 18 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
We are witnessing Ante Zizic taking the next step in expanding his game: jumpers. Jumpers are well known as the 8th step to being a good NBA player (the first seven being, in order: breathing, running without falling over, clapping on the bench, crossovers, dribbling, grabbing the ball with both hands, and high-fives), and Zizic…
Read MoreCheick Diallo 18 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
Final statline for Cheick Diallo against Puke Faulton, NoDefense “LeBron James” Suckballs and the whole Lackers team: 18 points on 8-for-8 shooting, 10 rebounds, and 2 blocks on Braindead Ingrandma in only 18 minutes of action. He also did a Mutombo fingerwag, which he’s allowed to do since he’s African (no cultural appropriation here), but…
Read MoreDewayne Dedmon 18 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
The trade deadline has come and gone, and Dewayne Dedmon is still on the Hawks. Wasn’t he supposed to get bought out if he didn’t get traded? But I’m looking at this game, and I’m looking at the jersey he’s wearing, and it appears that he’s definitely still on the Hawks. No doubt about it….
Read MoreDirk Nowitzki 15 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
There are 23 games left in the regular season. Dirk Nowitzki needs 92 points to pass Wilt Chamberlain and secure 6th place in the career point total leaderboard (he also needs 191 to pass LeBron again, assuming LeBron dies right now and doesn’t rise again on the third day). The question on everybody’s minds: can…
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