OFFICIAL DTB APOLOGY #1: I would like to apologize to all my subscribers, all people from the country of Georgia, and all NBA fans in general for a grave error that I have committed. Through a series of regrettable miscalculations, I failed to upload a single Goga Bitadze highlight video to my channel during the…
Read MoreMonth: April 2020
Michael Porter Jr. All 141 Field Goals Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Bucketilation)
OFFICIAL REASONS THAT MICHAEL PORTER JR. DIDN’T AVERAGE 15 PPG THIS SEASON POWER RANKINGS 1. Paul Millsap Paul Millsap ruined the Nuggets with the combination of his huge contract, his athletic decline, his statistical impotence, his skillset reduncancy with other members of the Nuggets roster, and with his overall ruinistic tendencies. And not only did…
Read MoreCarmelo Anthony All 125 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation)
Carmelo Anthony was walking through a narrow alley in a bid to find a quicker route to his parked car. He knew that it wasn’t a good idea to take a solitary walk through an unfamiliar area at night, but he was big enough that nobody would mess with him. Hopefully. The distant streetlight at…
Read MorePat Connaughton All 27 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
While it remains to be seen whether or not the Bucks will be given a chance to compete for the NBA championship that they looked poised to contend for (before COVID-19 plummeted the world into chaos), nobody can dispute that they were the best team in the NBA during the regular season. While the “best…
Read MoreDerrick Jones Jr. All 76 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
His phone was ringing. Derrick Jones Jr. didn’t feel like looking to see who was calling. If he went five days without saying a word to anybody, as had become the norm while he was quarantined inside his apartment in a Miami high-rise, that was fine by him. Then again, his phone was set to…
Read MoreJaxson Hayes All 90 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
“Come on dude, just log on. It’s not like you have anything better to do.” Jaxson Hayes rolled his eyes at the over-the-phone wheedling of his teammate Nickeil Alexander-Walker. He was bored, but not so bored that he could be convinced to start playing Runescape again. “I actually do have something better to do,” he…
Read MoreMarkelle Fultz All 87 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation)
Markelle Fultz looked down at his hands. They were bloody. That was to be expected after one had committed acts which Markelle had just committed. He wiped his hands on his pants, leaving bloody streaks which would have plainly implicated him in the deed, were anybody around to do the implication. Slipping out of the…
Read MoreLuka Doncic All 156 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Three-ilation)
Luka Doncic drove down a wide street in a Dallas suburb that he had never even heard of, much less visited. On either side of the road were a multitude of restaurant choices representing every cuisine known to man (or at least the ones that were a part of the average American’s culinary lexicon). It…
Read MoreMarquese Chriss All 99 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
Marquese Chriss could hear seagulls squawking and waves crashing. That was the first sign that something was wrong. The second sign was that he could feel himself lying on sand. Apparently, he was on a beach. He was not, in general, opposed to beaches, but his bedroom was not a beach, and his bedroom was…
Read MoreDavis Bertans All 200 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Three-ilation)
The sounds of a sawblade grinding against metal filled the improvised workshop. Soaring sparks cast a red glow in the windowless room which was otherwise lit only by a flickering bulb swinging from the ceiling. A very tall man impatient wiped sweat away from his brow as he bent in concentration over his latest electro-mechanical…
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