Is Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe the shooting guard of the future for the Blazers? Let’s do a quick rundown of the checklist:
-Is a shooting guard
-Is on the Blazers
-Has traveled back in time from the future
-Is in possession of one or more artifacts from the future, including but not limited to laser guns, matter synthesizers, and clothes made out of gray shiny fabric
-Can tell us things that happened in the future
-Can warn us about the specific ways in which our own terrible hubris will negatively impact future generations
-Displays comical ineptitude when trying to interact with modern-day technology because the future is a lot different
Wait. That’s the “shooting guard FROM the future” checklist. I don’t have a checklist for “shooting guard of the future”. Whelp. Description over.