downtobuck – Page 1304

Mike Dunleavy 23 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

Mike Dunleavy, in the least combative manner possible, walked up to teammate Taj Gibson after the game. He began awkwardly, “Listen, Taj, Booz just gave me the rundown on the whole situation. If I had known you were in the game, I definitely would never have porked Caroline.” Giving him a dirty look, Taj responded,…

Maurice Harkless 16 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

There was a ton of hype last year about Mo Harkless. He was gonna be part of the new young core that the Magic had. All-Star potential? Of course. That second part seems kind of weird now, but the first part is happening I guess. But with each year that passes, the Magic get further…

Ryan Anderson Career High 36 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

Ryan Anderson is a maniac. A total maniac. This is evidenced by the fact that he’s taken 126 shots while only accumulating 3 assists. Any other player in the league does that, they would get crucified. Literally crucified. NBA fans are dedicated. But Anderson gets a pass because his shooting is otherworldly right now. When…

DeMarre Carroll 17 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

I’m in the process of writing the Final for this semester’s class. I hope you guys all have been paying attention and taking good notes, because this one’s gonna be a doozy. All short answer, plus one or two essay questions. None of that multiple choice crap. Plus its closed-book, so no cheap Google help…

Patrick Patterson 18 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

“I’m going to need to take a little break here, Patrick. Nature calls,” said Kings GM Pete D’Alessandro, interrupting the meeting with his player. As D’Alessandro left the room to make a visit to his personal toilet, Patrick Patterson twiddled his thumbs idly. The phone on the desk rang. Patrick stared at it for a…

Ryan Anderson 31 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

Ryan Anderson crept stealthily through the unlit halls of Madison Square Garden, making his way to the court. He had encountered surprisingly little resistance, aside from the security guard on the roof. The Garden was very confusing in the total darkness. After several wrong turns and excursions into bathrooms and concessions areas, Anderson found the…

Robert Sacre Career High 12 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

Chris Kaman must really suck. Like, really really. When you’ve lost your spot in the rotation for Robert Sacre, it’s time to reconsider your life, and your priorities on the basketball court (that’s code for “play some damn defense you oaf”). Sacre made the most of his newly acquired playing time by getting career highs…

DeMarcus Cousins 24 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

At the end of last season, I detailed a visit to DeMarcus by none other than the Basketball Fairy, who granted him three wishes. DeMarcus used his wishes on a nacho cheese-dispensing shower, cupboards containing infinite tortilla chips, and a change to his personality so that he was no longer a team cancer. How are…

Tim Hardaway Jr. Career High 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

What’s wrong with the Knicks? That’s a stupid question. There is an obvious problem with the Knicks that was not present last year: JR Smith is playing like he’s a homeless man who just happened to wander in to Madison Square Garden. That and the fact that they aren’t hitting threes at the ridiculous rate…