If this game was the only NBA game you’ve ever watched in your life, you might come away with the impression that Steven Adams is better than Joel Embiid. If this video was the only NBA-related video you’ve ever watched in your life (welcome to the channel!), you would not only come away with the…
Read MoreAuthor: downtobuck
Donte DiVincenzo 16 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
It’s weird that Donte DiVincenzo apparently scored 16 points tonight considering that the Bucks didn’t play a game, but that’s what my machine-learning enhanced boxscore script is telling me, and it doesn’t get things wrong like that. That thing might be an incomprehensible black box of code, but it is always right when it comes…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 28 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
The way Hornets fans talk about this guy, you would think he was averaging 3 points per game on 5 percent shooting with 1 assist and 7 turnovers per game (coincidentally, very close to the numbers I would average were I placed in an NBA game, except I wouldn’t score or get assists). While playing…
Read MoreKevin Huerter 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
I’m just going to go ahead and declare this the fourth consecutive win for the Hawks. Sure, in their last four games, they’ve only “won” (according to the arcane and outmoded regulations of the NBA) two of those games, but the other two should be wins. Not just moral victories. Straight-up wins. And I will…
Read MoreIsh Smith 27 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
MVP chants for Ish Smith? Normally I’m not a fan of the patronizing nature of such chants, as they are normally not directed at actual MVP-caliber players. But at this very moment, Smith IS an MVP-caliber player. Because here’s an abridged list of what typical MVP-caliber players do: -Win games against good teams -While scoring…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
Joe Ingles hasn’t missed a game since December 16th… 2015. There are people watching my channel RIGHT NOW who weren’t even born when that happened. Okay, maybe they’re not watching my channel, but they are on YouTube, watching toy reviews or those creepy bootleg Mickey Mouse cartoons with hypodermic needles and pregnancy and stuff. And…
Read MoreWill Barton 28 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
Will Barton is a pretty decent player, but there’s one big problem with him: his name. “Will Barton”. That’s something that totally needs an upgrade. No one is ever going to be a fan of a player who sounds like a middle-class paper-pusher working a dead-end job with an hour-long commute and a nagging wife….
Read MoreMarkelle Fultz Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2020)
My tear-harvesting machine is getting a lot of use lately. Most recently, I have used it with great success on Philadelphia 76ers fans. Why are Sixers fans generating tears, you ask? You’re on a Markelle Fultz video, so you should be able to figure it out. It’s because Markelle Fultz is quickly emerging as a…
Read MoreAnte Zizic 15 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2020)
I need a Cavaliers fan, or perhaps multiple fans, to tell me what exactly is so wrong with Ante “Antetozizpo” Zizic that he doesn’t hardly get any minutes even on a horrible team. Be as specific as possible. It’s freaking me out that I can’t figure it out, because apparently his flaws are so deep…
Read MoreShabazz Napier 21 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/5/2020)
Can Shabazz Napier, you know, like chill out for a bit? Just for one game, then he can go back to scoring 20 all the time. Players like him going off unexpectedly (though it’s starting to become expectedly, at this point) are what I live for, I know, and I’m super hyped that he’s playing…
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