Consider me a fan of the new Hawks jerseys. Triangles? I love me some god-damn triangles. Neon Colors? The 90’s never left, baby! Sign me up. Hell yeah. But this business of wearing shorts and jerseys of different colors? BARF. Somebody call the fashion gestapo! I’m not a fashion expert, so maybe my opinion doesn’t…
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Doug McDermott 12 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2015)
I was fooled. We were all fooled. Doug McDermott has made fools of us all. “B-b-but Dee Tee Bee”, you stammer as you push your glasses up your nose, “I knew Doug McDermott was going to suck in the NBA, because his substandard athleticism would render his prodigious shot-making ability useless.” Shut up. No you…
Read MoreMarcus Thornton 21 Points Rocket Debut Full Highlights (11/1/2015)
The Rockets commentators were so happy during the first half of this game, I’m actually glad that I didn’t have to keep listening to them when they had given up their double-digit lead and gone down by double-digits themselves. They were so excited by Marcus Thornton’s apparent scoring prowess that their commentary in the second…
Read MoreDraymond Green 21 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
Last year I wrote the following words in a Draymond Green description (coincidentally also for a 21-point performance, how’s that for a Halloween spook session?): “What I want is for Draymond Green to get paid a max contract by the Pistons in the offseason. That’s what I want. Why do I want that? Because we…
Read MoreJ.J. Redick 23 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
Back again, you racist? Not only are you blatantly disrespecting the United States by preferring basketball highlights over World Series highlights, but you have now elevated your racism to a new plateau of bigotry by ignoring the highlights of a black player in favor of highlights of a white player. You are disgusting. You are…
Read MoreToney Douglas 17 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
The Pelicans’ point guard sitch is looking somewhat dire right now. With the starter (Jrue Holiday) on a minutes restriction and the backup (Norris Cole) doing his best Stephen-Curry-From-4-Years-Ago impression with an ankle injury, the Pelicans are left with no choice but to give some serious scrubs some serious minutes: -Nate Robinson (waived for being…
Read MoreBradley Beal 26 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
“Marcin, we need to set some things straight.” Marcin Gortat looked over to Bradley Beal’s locker. “I agree, Bradley. With new season comes new beginnings and new understandings.” “So you know what I’m talking about, then,” said Bradley. Marcin raised his eyebrows. “Actually I am not knowing,” Marcin responded innocently. “Maybe it about how I…
Read MoreEric Bledsoe 33 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
The World Series is going on, dude. Why are you even caring about basketball right now? How can you call yourself an American when you can’t even partake in your fatherland’s favorite pastime? This Royals-Mets matchup is one for the ages, certain to go down as one of the greatest World Series’ ever, and you…
Read MoreOtto Porter 16 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
Perfect timing for the Wizards! Just as Nene starts turning into a lazy Brazilian bum, Otto Porter starts turning into a perfect complimentary role-player! The two occurrences should cancel each other out, and Washington should find about the same amount of playoff success this year as they did last. Took the Ottomaton long enough. I…
Read MoreMyles Turner 10 Points Full Highlights (10/31/2015)
Myles Turner actually looks legit? Unlike many rookies, he’s converting non-trivial stuff for the bulk of his points. The crazy jumpers that he keeps taking he probably won’t keep making, but for now, it looks like I have a reason to watch the Pacers for once. Based on this highlight video alone, I’m thinking that…
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