I watch every team in the league while doing these highlights. That means I get to hear every commentating crew. They all have unique stylistic differences. But what sets the Jazz commentating crew apart is the fact that they have Matt Harpring, who is probably the worst colorman in the league. I hate him. He…
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Donatas Motiejunas Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
Lots of Euro big-men get labeled as “The Next Dirk”. If you can shoot a jumper, be white and freakishly tall, and come from Europe, you too can earn the label. Is Donatas Motiejunas the next Dirk? Maybe. But probably not. That title is reserved for Tim Ohlbrecht. Put he is showing that he can…
Read MoreBradley Beal Career High 29 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2013)
A sprawled out figure lay face-down on a ratty old couch. A bag of half-finished Doritos sat on the table, next to a few empty beer cans. An orange tabby lay next to his owner, content and purring. The figure stirred, and reached over to give the cat a little scratch behind the ears. “Oh…
Read MoreJamal Crawford 23 Points Full Highlights (2/28/2013)
Jamal Crawford is the representation of everything that is wrong with the NBA. His entire game is fancy crossovers and crappy step-back jumpers. He doesn’t pass, or rebound, or defend. Just chuck, chuck, chuck until the cows come home. His kind of player has a spot in the NBA, sure, but that spot is stuck…
Read MoreJohn Salmons 21 Points/5 Assists/1 Dunk Full Highlights (2/27/2013)
Official Nastiest Beards In The NBA Power Rankings: 1. John Salmons 2. Drew Gooden 3. Chris Kaman … 500. James Harden I mean seriously. Come on John, that thing looks horrible. It’s a scraggly mass of pubic hair jutting out of your chin. The reason nobody defends your three pointers is that nobody wants to…
Read MoreTobias Harris Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (2/27/2013)
I’ve completely run out of things to say about Tobias Harris. He keeps having good games, and you people keep watching his highlights, so here we are again. Better than ever. 23 points. Hoo-wah. I guess I could mention the amount of anguish that Bucks fans are currently going through. They’re really mad. It’s comical….
Read MoreBrandon Knight Career High 32 Points Full Highlights (2/27/2013)
Brandon “Valiant” Knight got injured a few games ago. While he was out, the Pistons lost every game. And then he comes back, and, surprise, the Pistons win again. Although don’t tell the Wizard’s commentators. I’m pretty sure they still think the Wizards won. That shot by Ariza did look good from the TV angle….
Read MoreDamien Wilkins 14 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (2/26/2013)
The Philadelphia 76ers are imploding as we speak. Their coach Doug Collins, went on angry rant about the state of the team in the postgame interview. But for some reason the reports of that don’t include what he said about Damien “Not Dominique” Wilkins. “Oh, and Damien Wilkins. Almost forgot about him because he sucks…
Read MoreMarcus Thornton 36 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (2/26/2013)
In these politically correct times, I don’t understand how Marcus Thornton gets to have the nickname “The Bayou Bomber”. That’s like calling OJ Mayo “The Appalachian Assassinator” or Chris Bosh “The Texan Terrorist”. But I guess it’s better than “MT23”, since your initials + jersey number does not count as a nickname. Are you listening,…
Read MoreStephen Curry 38 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (2/26/2013)
*Before the game* “Hey David, man, can I ask a favor?” “Sure Steph what is it?” “You know Hibbert? That guy’s been pissing me off lately. I want you to get something started with him, so I can have an excuse to go in and rough him up a bit. Just give him a shove…
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