This was, you could say, a “vintage” Suns performance. Vintage in that they got their ass kicked to hell and back, just like they did at the beginning of the season. They came back to make the score semi-respectable, but don’t let the final total fool you: the Pacers opened a can of whoop-ass on…
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Fred VanVleet 19 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
Fred “Prime Gerald Wallace” VanVleet’s final statline tonight: 19 points, 7 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals, 3 blocks. He got those stats not as a do-it-all small forward, but as a point guard who is, realistically, only like 5’10”. Yeah, the NBA lists him at 6 feet. They also list J.J. Barea at that height;…
Read MoreBen Simmons Triple Double 19 Pts/17 Rebs/14 Asts Full Highlights (1/24/2018)
Tonight was “Australian Heritage Night” at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, in honor of noted Australian basketball player Ben Simmons who, you guessed it, plays for Philly! It all makes so much sense. I don’t know what they did to celebrate Australian’s unique cultural contributions to the world other than showcase incredibly dangerous venomous…
Read MoreCourtney Lee 20 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
Since I know that nobody is going to watch this video (it’s Courtney Lee, after all), I am going to institute a new “highlight suitability” protocol to more accurately determine when a Courtney Lee highlight video needs to be made. It will use a proprietary algorithm, developed in-house, running on a state-of-the-art neural net, to…
Read MoreJarrett Allen 12 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
Jarrett Allen is a 43% three-point shooter. His only problem is his extremely low, bordering on anemic, volume from the threezone: he’s 3 of 7 for the season. That hardly qualifies him as a “stretch five”, but then again, maybe it does a little bit. It’s hard to extract meaningful information from so few shot…
Read MoreElfrid Payton 21 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
There was a period of time last season when it seemed like Elfrid Payton was getting a triple-double every other game. I’m sure the frequency wasn’t that high, but that’s what it felt like to me, since I was the one who had to make all those damn highlight videos. This year, however, Payton has…
Read MoreKyle Kuzma 28 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
If there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it’s that high-school to college-aged males love wearing T-Shirts that have references to marijuana on them. That’s why, when I came up with the phrase “Kyle Kushma” in reference to the popular Lakers rookie Kyle Kuzma, I immediately went out to the local shirt-printing place and ordered like…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 22 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
Marcus Smart missed a buzzer-beating three-pointer as time expired, but if the Lakers could actually shoot free throws (Josh Fart missed a pair with nineteen seconds left and Kentavious Callbrick-Poop missed a pair with five seconds left), Smart wouldn’t have even had a chance to take (and miss) the game-winner, so I consider this one…
Read MoreDejounte Murray 19 Points/7 Steals Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
Dejounte Murray: best rebounding guard in the league? Russell Westbrook doesn’t count because he’s a statpadder and everyone knows it. Murray might be a statpadder, but even if he is, no one but Spurs fans would be aware. So he wins. He is the best rebounding guard in the league. If he could shoot the…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 21 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
It’s not too late! It’s not too late! #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley Come on! Come on people! We can do this! #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael Beasley #NBAVote Michael…
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