Jayson “JayTay” Tatum achieved a great statistical feat tonight: the famed “scrub by five”. If you’ve never heard of such a thing before, let me illuminate matters: it means a player got at least 2 of each of the 5 statistical categories. The other thing about scrub by fives is that only scrubs/role-players/detritus can get…
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Donovan Mitchell 19 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
This description will have to wait until I am finished reading the Wikipedia article about Eurobeat. Okay? Can you wait a few minutes, or is your time too god damn precious? I thought so. ——— Wow! I have been enlightened to the intricacies of Eurobeat music, also known as Italo Disco. Who knew that Italian…
Read MoreDaniel Theis 11 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
Tall-ish German NBAer who can shoot the three ball… sounds familiar. Hmmm. Who am I thinking of? Could it be… yes, it must be: Anthony Randolph! David Theis is the next Anthony Randolph! True, Theis doesn’t have quite the Summer League resume that Randolph does, but otherwise, the similaries are uncanny. Both were born in…
Read MoreCory Joseph 21 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
For your enjoyment, part three of the ongoing “Pacers players who participated in the destruction of the Timberwolves” series: Cory Joseph! He scored 21 points, playing a crucial role in making Timberwolves fans realize that their team isn’t as good as they hoped and that it is time to start booing. Like with Bojan Bogdanovic,…
Read MoreVictor Oladipo 28 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
I’m looking at the boxscore for this game right now, and I might as well just grab all the field goals the Pacers made, slam them all together, and upload it as “Indiana Pacers 130 Points Full Highlights”. Because that’s basically what the sum of all these Pacers highlights I’m about to do is. Everyone…
Read MoreNemanja Bjelica 18 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
Nemanja “Buhjellicka” Bjelica, coming into this game, was the best three-point shooter in the league. According to stats, obviously. Not, you know, the actual best three-point shooter in the league. Only a really insane Serbophile would believe that. Bjelica was 4 of 5, 80 percent, tied with Jamal Crawford and Mario Hezonja for tops among…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 19 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
Lost in the frenzy of a whole bunch of players doing really good is all the players who are kind of sucking so far this year. Like Bojan Bogdanovic. Admit it: you forgot that the better Bogdanovic was even on the Pacers. Don’t lie to me. I know when you saw this vid you were…
Read MoreAaron Gordon Career High 41 Points Full Highlights (10/24/2017)
Standing in the alley that ran past the back of the hospital, Aaron Gordon nervously adjusted his disguise as he loitered in what he hoped was an innocuous manner. From spending the past several days discreetly observing the area, he knew that this alley was where doctors often took their smoke breaks. Now he just…
Read MoreJohnny O’Bryant 14 Points Full Highlights (10/23/2017)
Johnny “Irish Kobe” O’Bryant makes his long-awaited return to Brew City, this time donning the Hornets’ teal and purple. In a performance fueled by a deep-seated desire for revenge, he torches his former team to the tune of 14 points and 2 big middle fingers. There are a lot of players who I wish the…
Read MoreJohn Collins 14 Points Full Highlights (10/23/2017)
If I’m gonna keep doing John Collins highlights, I’m gonna need more midrange jimbos. A lot more. Wasn’t that one of the things he was supposed to be able to do coming into the league? Even if it wasn’t, I bet he shoots them ALL the time in practice, so no reason he can’t be…
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