Nikola “Jock Itch” Jokic: is he really a 44% three-point shooter? Well, he is for now, because he’s 4-of-9 on the season, but that’s not the question. Actually, it is the question, but that’s because I worded it badly. The real question: can Jock Itch sustain 40% from behind the arc or is it a…
Read MoreFrank Kaminsky 15 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Frank Kaminsky was getting ready for the game against the Grizzlies, when he noticed a slouched, white-bearded figure in the corner of the locker room, beckoning him. He wondered how he had noticed the man before; the mass of blankets covering him as he sat in a rocking-chair were out of place amongst the athletic…
Read MoreC.J. McCollum 26 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Remember way back last year, when Ray McCallum was outperforming C.J. McCollum? Damn. How much things can change in a single offseason; Ray is now on a team that is so good that he doesn’t ever get to play, and C.J. is now on a team so bad that he has become a nightly offensive…
Read MoreTyreke Evans 27 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Tyreke Evans was the man who robbed Stephen Curry of his rightful Rookie of the Year award. The voters were too blinded by his raw stats to even notice a burgeoning beast in Golden State. This mistake can not be rectified; Tyreke’s name will forever be etched in the runestone of ROY winners, immutable. There…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 28 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
That’s it. No one is ever going to beat the Warriors. Not ever. If Kelly Olynyk scoring an improbable 28 isn’t enough to get the job done, what will? The answer is nothing. Nothing except for Kelly Olynyk scoring 30, or even 32. That might do it, depending on the situation. Another basket for him…
Read MoreJahlil Okafor 22 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Things must be getting frustrating for Jahlil Okafor. Coming off a very successful high-school and college career only to be trapped on the worst team in the league/worst team ever? Even the most even-tempered players would get annoyed with the amount of non-winning that is going on in Philly. Not to mention one of the…
Read MoreMario Hezonja 12 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Scott Skiles hates rookies. This is a known fact. He had certified beast Tobias Harris as a rookie on the Bucks, and he didn’t play him at all. There are other instances of Skiles’ rookie-despising tendencies, but I’m too lazy/mad about Tobes to look them up. You’ll have to trust me on this one. So…
Read MoreRichaun Holmes 14 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (12/10/2015)
Richaun Holmes arrived at his locker before the game and prepared to put on his jersey. Taking it off its hanger, he noticed a post-it note stuck to the back of his locker. He plucked the note off the wooden surface and read it. “Remember, we’re tanking. -S” Who would leave a note for him…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 23 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2015)
I am continuing to pay reparations to Serge Ibaka in penance for totally ignoring him the first fifth of the season. Under terms outlined by the United Nations, Following is a list of steps I have taken to make the situation right and ensure that Ibaka’s human rights are no longer violated so flagrantly: -I…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 22 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2015)
So I guess the Bazed God has lost his starter’s job to Thabo Sefolosha. I don’t want to step on any toes or hurt any feelings here, but taking Bazemore out of the starting lineup is just dumb. Who literally cares if Sefolosha and Bazemore are basically the same player. I want to see in-his-prime…
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