Kent Bazemore 14 Points Full Highlights (3/15/3013)

Imagine this: a big meatball sub, overflowing with bright red marinara sauce thick with tomato chunks. Divinely melted mozzarella cheese draped over the whole thing, bonded to the bakery-fresh white roll and semi-transparent. Authentic, fresh-out-of-the-garden Italian spices decorate the creation like confetti – basil, oregano, maybe some rosemary. Artfully prepared orbs of pure beef are…

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Serge Ibaka 20 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/15/2013)

Serge “The Congolese Crusher” Ibaka, according to his Wikipedia article, has 17 brothers and sisters. If I was an NBA team I would be looking at some of his siblings, as some of them undoubtedly share his height and athleticism. Wait. What if the Thunder got all his brothers on the same team? Whoa. Wait….

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Jameer Nelson 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/15/2013)

In my regular excursions through NBA arena dumpsters, I often come across documents which, given the classified information contained therein, I’m sure Stern doesn’t want me to see. In this particular case, while submerged to my neck in a dumpster outside the Amway Center in Orlando, I found a perfectly serviceable trapper-keeper. Thinking I would…

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Rodrigue Beaubois 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/15/2013)

Rodrigue “French Kiss” Beaubois’ career has pretty much been on a downward slide since he had that 40 point game a couple years back. My opinion of him is still colored by that game, I think he should be getting more minutes even though he’s been pretty poor this year. At least he should get…

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Steve Blake 18 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (3/15/2013)

18 points. 7 assists. 6 rebounds. 4 steals. 2 blocks. What kind of basketball god could accumulate such amazing stats in a single game? LeBron? Yeah, he’s done it, but he’s surpassed godhood and ascended into the highest state of being so he doesn’t really count. He’s the only one so far this year, but…

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George Hill 27 Points Full Highlights (3/15/2013)

“Psst. Psst! George! Come over here, we need to talk!” “Hibs, man, what are you doing in a storage closet?” “This is top secret stuff, dude. Now get ova’ here.” “Okay, Roy, what is it?” “Listen, George, I’ve been thinkin’… I want to take a three this game.” “You can’t shoot threes, I’ve seen you…

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Diante Garrett 9 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2013)

I know the question that you’re all thinking. And I’m sorry, but I don’t have the answer. I don’t know who the hell “Diante Garrett” is either. Well, I know he’s an NBA player. From Milwaukee. Went to college at Iowa State. Has some crappy facial hair. But I don’t have any insights on his…

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Tayshaun Prince 18 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (3/13/2013)

I’ve come to the conclusion that Tayshaun Prince is some kind of demon from the underrealms. He’s just so freaky looking. And he’s got a fungal growth on his face that would kill any normal human. Demons must age at a slower rate than normal as well, because there’s no way a 33-year-old could pull…

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Donatas Motiejunas Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2013)

There are a lot of corny catchphrases that basketball commentators use. “Mouse in the House”. “Onions, baby onions”. “If you don’t like that you don’t like NBA basketball”. Most of the time these phrases are just annoying. Especially if they’re repeated more than once a game. So it is with that said, that I nominate…

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Larry Sanders 17 Points/1 Ejection Full Highlights (3/13/2013)

A common refrain among older NBA fans is that the league has gone soft since the 80’s. Not enough dirty play and swinging fists. It used to be that if you wanted to get ejected you had to go absolutely crazy. Now you can get ejected for laughing. And poor Larry Sanders was just trying…

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