Fred “Vleet of Voot” VanVleet: best backup PG in the league? I’m too lazy/dumb to come up with a list of all the backup PG’s in the league, so I can only make weak assertions with no evidence or facts to back them up. Fans of the other 29 teams in the league will probably…
Read MoreGeorge Hill 22 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
George Hill was 10-of-11 from the field in this game. Great! I love it when players score efficiently. He also had zero assists, but I honestly don’t know whether that’s great or not great. He’s always been a point guard in name only, stretching the limit of how little a point guard can care about…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 21 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
Tim Frazier, curious about the website that was up on his teammate’s phone, looked over Kelly Oubre’s shoulder with interest. “Yo, you ordering pizza for us?” Kelly rolled his eyes, then returned his attention to filling out the online delivery form. “Obviously not. Nobody but me deserves pizza after how we played out there. It’s…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 23 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
Who is this dude talking who’s not Clyde Frazier? Whoever he is, he’s not rhyming enough of his words and he’s not using the word “hoop” enough. When Enes Kanter posts and toasts somebody, I want it referred to as such. When he tantalizes and mesmerizes somebody, I need those words said aloud. I only…
Read MoreWayne Selden 18 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
Whoops, it turns out that Wayne Selden scored a whole bunch of these points in the garbagiest garbage time (under 2 minutes to go in a blowout). One could argue that the entire Grizzlies season is garbage time at this point, and they would be arguing from a strong position, but this was especially meaningless….
Read MoreE’Twaun Moore 23 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
E’Twaun Moore is basically the third banana in New Orleans now that DeMarcus Cousins’s head got exploded because his headband was too tight. On the list of all third bananas in the league, maybe he’d rate somewhere in the middle? Not as good as Klay Thompson, but way better than whatever scrublord is third banana…
Read MoreCristiano Felicio 16 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
Cristiano “What Are You Doing In My Swamp” Felicio is the leading scorer for the Bulls in two consecutive games. I am wholly unprepared to deal with this information; perhaps you will do better when confronted with this unfortunate truth. This video makes a perfect foil to the Nikola Jokic highlights I just uploaded. It…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 21 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
The chances of playoff Nikola Jokic being unleashed upon an unsuspecting (actually not so unsuspecting since he had those monster games on national TV) audience are growing slimmer and slimmer. This win helped, but the odds aren’t good at all. Remember: this is all Paul Millsap’s fault. Realistically, Jokic shares some blame because he can’t…
Read MoreJakob Poeltl 17 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
I considered writing a big multi-paragraph essay about why Austria is so awesome (Jakob Poeltl is one of the reasons) for this description, but I feel like Austrians aren’t as fervently nationalistic as, say, people from former Yugoslavian states. Blatantly pandering to them would not earn me as many subscribers. I will say, however, that…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 22 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2018)
I don’t know what the DTB all-time record is for earliest-ending highlight video is, but this performance has got to be up there. Michael Beasley scored a bucket with 11:40 remaining in the third quarter. And that was it. No more Beasley. He did some more things, but they were all un-highlight-worthy. Looking at this…
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