Dënniß ßchrööder is the kind of guy who raises many questions. Why does he have a gold patch on his hair? Is it mold? Can he shoot? If not, is he the next Rajon Rondo? Why did he lose his spot in the rotation last year to Shelvin Mack? Can he dunk? And, most critically,…
Read MoreTag: Atlanta Hawks
Mike Scott 20 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2014)
The transformation in Mike Scott’s game is complete. The former interior scorer is now, almost exclusively, an outside threat. He knows the reality of the NBA: the easiest way to make yourself valuable is to be big, and to be able to shoot threes. This is especially valuable to the Hawks, who are collecting as…
Read MoreKyle Korver 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (10/29/2014)
If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that Kyle Korver has stolen multiple girlfriends from me, using his unbeatable combination of wealth, prestige, and handsomeness to woo away multiple girls who swore they loved me. All it takes is one glimpse of his face on the TV and they run off like they’re gonna reenact…
Read MoreKyle Korver All 185 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2013-2014 Season Three-ilation)
You know, sometimes misfortune just walks up to you and kicks you right in the nards. This is one of those times. I’ve been seeing this chick for a few months. It’s been working out pretty well so she moved in to my place a few weeks ago. She’s a full-time salesperson at Burlington Coat…
Read MoreKyle Korver 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (5/3/2014)
The Atlanta Hawks finally did the thing everyone has wanted to see for years: putting three-point shooters at every position and letting them chuck. It worked to an extent, since they did take the number-one seed to 7 games, but since said number-one seed was an ongoing and spectacular trainwreck, it’s undetermined if the strategy…
Read MoreLou Williams 16 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2014)
“Hey, Lou, what are you dressed up like that for?” Paul Millsap asked, looking his teammate up and down in disbelief. “Nobody looks like that going to the club.” Lou Williams, looking dapper in a navy-blue turtleneck, skinny black jeans, and tinted glasses, laughed airily. The small silver chain around his neck jangled. “I’m not…
Read MoreMike Scott 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/28/2014)
If the Hawks end up losing this series I’m gonna be pissed. I, along with everyone else, want to see an upset. There’s nothing more fun than watching the Hawks’ players taking turns adding gasoline to the dumpster fire that is the Pacers. It was Mike Scott’s turn tonight. I wondered if he’d go off…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll 18 Points Full Highlights (4/24/2014)
I don’t even know what’s going on with the Pacers now. Superstar Paul George getting outplayed by DeMarre frickin’ Carroll? They could still easily win the series, but the Hawks have shown their weakness. That being: play basketball and eventually they will get all mopey and stop moving the ball. DeMarre Carroll has been the…
Read MoreKyle Korver 20 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (4/24/2014)
The NBA and its assorted commentators have a strange fascination with arbitrary records. “Colonel McDickles is the first player to score 22 or more points while shooting 60% from the field in the first quarter of consecutive road games in the history of the NBA! Isn’t that a sweet and totally notable achievement?” I actually…
Read MoreLou Williams 23 Points Full Highlights (4/12/2014)
It seems to be the consensus that every team needs a midget shooting guard to come off the bench and chuck. Whenever a point guard struggles to find his teammates, fans suggest that he would be good in a “sixth man scorer” type role. I blame Jason Terry and Jordan Crawford, two players who have…
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