Okay, this is weird. Coach Thibodeau is well-known for not utilizing his bench players effectively, and Daequan Cook is one of the victims of Thiobdeau’s schemes. But in this blowout loss against the Nuggets, Rip Hamilton only played 17 minutes, and with Marco Belinelli not playing, Mr. Third-Stringer actually got to play meaningful minutes for…
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Marco Belinelli 24 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2013)
Marco Belinelli is a warrior with a heart of steel. Early in tonight’s game against the Pacers, he landed on Orlando Johnson’s (scrubby) foot after taking a three. Not only did he make the shot, he made the ensuing free throw as well on a bum ankle. He then returned to the game to score…
Read MoreKirk Hinrich 22 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/21/2013)
Kirk Hinrich is not really filling Derrick Rose’s shoes very well. Can he even dunk? Derrick Rose dunked all the time, Kirk, come on man can’t you just dunk it a few times? Look at Nate that guy is like 5 feet tall and he can do it. Just try harder. I guess we can’t…
Read MoreLuol Deng 33 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2013)
Luol “Based” Deng is probably getting tired of playing 40 minutes per night. Being ridden harder than 2005-era Kobe has got to have some negative effects on one’s performance. It’s really obvious when Deng staggers over to the bench in the middle of a play and passes out into the tray of Gatorade cups. But…
Read MoreTaj Gibson 21 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/2/2013)
Tom Thibodeau needs to loosen up his rotations a bit. His 40 minute-per-game center Joakim Noah was out with the flu, so what does he do? He plays the backup 45 minutes! While barely playing the only other big man on the roster. It’s madness. But I’m sure Taj didn’t care that much, and he…
Read MoreOmer Asik 20 Points/18 Rebounds Full Highlights (12/25/2012)
Omer Asik is that kid in middle school whose mouth was always hanging open. Walking in the hallways, maw agape, like there’s no way he can get enough air otherwise. Working on homework, brow furrowed in concentration, pie-hole at maximum aperture so as to better power his brain. Most of those kids grow out of…
Read MoreNate Robinson 27 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2012)
Nate Robinson is proof positive that normal-sized people can succeed in the NBA. You only need to have freakishly large muscles, superhuman athleticism and a pure jumper. However, being a normal-sized person in the NBA has its disadvantages; everybody considers you extremely short even though you’re taller than them; you will only ever dunk in…
Read MoreJoakim Noah Triple Double (11 Points, 13 Rebounds, 10 Assists) Full Highlights (12/18/2012)
Joakim “Headshop” Noah is widely regarded as one of the NBA’s best passing bigmen. He also enjoys recreational marijuana use. He likes passing the bong as much as he likes passing the rock. Against the Celtics he passed the rock 10 times to willing teammates, while also scoring 11 points and grabbing 13 boards, for…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 23 Points Full Highlights (12/5/12)
You want to know how to tell if a team sucks or not? Just look at their lineups and minute distributions. A crappy team allocates minutes seemingly randomly, a team such as the Bulls. Marco “Italian Beef” Belinelli, so far this season, has barely received any minutes, despite the Bulls being wracked with injuries. So…
Read MoreE’Twaun Moore 16 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/18/2012)
So I guess you can put punctuation in people’s names. This is news to me. E’Twaun M’oore is one of the people who display this trait. The apostrophe apparently imparts some kind of superior basketball skill, since my cousin Etwaun can barely dribble and has the shooting form of a middle school girl. This E’Twaun…
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