It is official: the Hawks have the worst camera angles in all of sports. What the heck is going on during Joe Harris’ first shot? It’s like some art-school dropout got a hold of the clips of the game and just mashed them together in an arty way. It’s going to seriously hamper your enjoyment…
Read MoreTag: Cleveland Cavaliers
Dion Waiters 21 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2014)
I know Austin Carr is well loved in Cleveland for his steadfast commitment to the franchise, both in his playing days and in his commentating days, but it’s time for him to go. Despite his over-reliance on bad catchphrases, he manages to talk himself into corners where he is unsure of how to escape. He…
Read MoreMike Miller 21 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/19/2014)
Mike Miller pulled the phone out of his pocket, fiddled with it confusedly for a few minutes, and managed, finally, to dial the phone number of his father. “Oh, hey Mike! Great game tonight, my boy, great game!” “Did we win?” Mike’s voice was sad and unsure. “What? Yes, you won, Mikey.” His father sounded…
Read MoreJames Jones 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2014)
James Jones has seen his averages drop precipitously after signing a new deal in a new city. There were always questions about whether his teammates made him better than he really was; now those fears are becoming reality. He may be receiving more touches in the offense, as his team is thin at his position,…
Read MoreAnderson Varejao 23 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2014)
The Cavs’ failures up to this point in the season, while bringing happiness and joy into my otherwise dull life, are probably not going to continue. They’re just too stacked. So, I’m going to enjoy their suckitude for the time being and try not to think how pissed I’m going to be when they make…
Read MoreDion Waiters 20 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2014)
At some point last summer, Dion Waiters got pissed at all the haters and tweeted “Men lie women lie BUCKETS DNT” accompanied by some highlights of him getting buckets. Those highlights were created by me, and in the description I mentioned how, while the highlights were impressive, they weren’t good shots or sustainable, and how…
Read MoreTristan Thompson 15 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/15/2014)
Tristan “Triscuits” Thompson is one of the players who lost out when the new big three united in Cleveland. Triscuits used to start and get big minutes; now Triscuits comes off the bench with lesser minutes. By the way, are you hungry for some TRISCUITS brand snack cracker right now? I know I am. However,…
Read MoreJoe Harris 12 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/15/2014)
Well this messes everything up. I have a very strict system, as you might be able to imagine. After I finish burning an individual highlight video to its own VHS tape, it goes into the “Archivium”, where it is kept in a climate-controlled environment for posterity. It’s actually just a bunch of shelves with fans…
Read MoreAnderson Varejao 16 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
Anderson “The Brazilian Bomber” Varejao’s rebounding numbers are way down this year. In 27 minutes per contest, he is grabbing five this year as opposed to almost ten last year. To what can we attribute this drop in rebounding output? A Samson-like hair disorder? Loss of athleticism? Bad shoes? No, it’s not any of those…
Read MoreCarrick Felix 10 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (4/16/2014)
Carrick Felix gazed up at the mountain before him. Its peak was crowned with snow, and a jagged, barely-visible path zigged and zagged its way to the very highest point. The mountain’s enormity was intimidating, but Carrick had been walking this path for a long time, and now was not the time to turn back….
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