Clint Capela vs Festus Ezeli. Who ya got? A difficult question to be sure. Let me help you in your pursuit of the correct answer (Yes, there is a correct answer. This is not a matter of opinion). Clint Capela: just turned 21, which means that he can now legally imbibe alcohols and also has…
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Trevor Booker Career High 36 Points Full Highlights (4/11/2015)
Which is the better performance, Trevor Booker’s 36 or Wilt’s 100? Let’s take a look at the facts. Wilt was playing against players so inferior to himself that an apt comparison would be Trevor playing against a middle-school girl’s B team. Advantage: Booker. Trevor played in a packed arena brimming with playoff-like intensity, while Wilt…
Read MoreEric Gordon 29 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/4/2014)
If Eric Gordon were a subgenre of rock music, what subgenre would he be? This is a tough question to answer since rock is an extremely broad musical genre, encompassing almost any form of guitar-based music. My first inclination is that Eric Gordon would be 70’s Psychedelic Rock, since that genre is very free-flowing and…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 10 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/2/2014)
I’ve seen a lot of comparisons for Giannis Antetokounmpo strewn across the internet. Some of them are worse than others; all of them are hilariously optimistic. Kevin Durant. They have the same body, but Kevin Durant’s jumper is a finely tuned machine. Giannis’ jumper looks like how he looks: a mess of flailing arms. Dirk…
Read MoreToney Douglas 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/8/2013)
Well, that sucked. Spurs beat the Warriors 76-74 in what might be the lowest-scoring game of the year. And the game’s leading scorer was none other than Toney “Baloney” Douglas! The Warriors commentators were so distraught over Stephen Curry’s injury that all they could do was project his attributes onto other players, and that included…
Read MoreDarius Miller Career High 16 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2013)
Darius “D-Mill” Miller can be summed up in one word. Basketball player. Okay, two words, but you get the idea. D-Mill is a basketball player. That’s what he does. How does he compare to other basketball players with the last name Miller? Mike Miller: Way better than D-Mill, but is old and stricken with back…
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