Will Barton just scored 50 points over four quarters of action. Not in a single game, but still. Pretty bananas, right? Right. Totally bananas. No doubt about it. He then proceeded to score 7 over the following three quarters. We can just forget about that, for the most part. Like it didn’t even happen. Why…
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Kenneth Faried 21 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)
Kenneth “Fareak” Faried: good power forward? It’s hard to say. His advanced stats point to him being good. Since advanced stats are, by definition, more advanced than normal stats, they are a good thing to use when you want to determine the goodness of a player. But even his normal stats also look good. He…
Read MoreWill Barton Career High 32 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/20/2015)
Now is when we start questioning what Portland was thinking when they let Will Barton go. Not in the future, not in the past. Right now, at this very moment. That is the time when we send emails to Neil Olshey with the subject line of “wtf were u doin when u trade willie buckets”…
Read MoreRandy Foye 19 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2015)
Note to self: never get hyped about a performance in progress. EVER. Randy Foye had 17 points in the second quarter tonight against the Timberwolves. Randy Foye. Seventeen. One quarter. He was telling the his former team “Why did you ever get rid of me I could be your starting shooting guard take a look…
Read MoreWill Barton 23 Points/1 Poster Dunk Full Highlights (12/14/2015)
Dunk of the year? Dunk of the year. Will Barton pretty much totally performed an exorcism Donatas Motiejunas, except instead of exorcising just the evil spirits he also took a huge chunk of his soul and little bits of his vital organs. It was kind of spooky watching D-Mo flop around for a bit after…
Read MoreGary Harris 21 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2015)
Yes! With this new career high for Gary Harris, my hype for Gary Harris is justified! Take that, Gary Harris haters, you lowly scum of the earth. How foolish you must feel, hating on Gary Harris as he continues to improve as a basketball player, paying no heed to your Gary Harris hating. It is…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 19 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Nikola “Jock Itch” Jokic: is he really a 44% three-point shooter? Well, he is for now, because he’s 4-of-9 on the season, but that’s not the question. Actually, it is the question, but that’s because I worded it badly. The real question: can Jock Itch sustain 40% from behind the arc or is it a…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne 14 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2015)
In “The Battle Between Foreign Backup Centers who were Never Supposed to Start”, Frenchman Joffrey Lauvergne convincingly outplayed the Congolese Bismack Biyombo. Even the most ardent Raptors homer would readily admit that 14/10 with two fouls is quite a bit better than 6/7 with four fouls. The regularly scheduled “Battle Between Starting Foreign Centers” that…
Read MoreWill Barton 22 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2015)
Sometimes highlights turn out like this. I don’t like it, but that’s how the game is played. I noticed while compiling this sucker that Will Barton was making WAY too many buckets as soon as he got in the game. Too many buckets too early means not enough buckets near the end (since I, with…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 16 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2015)
Is it just me or is Nikola Jokic looking a little… Porzingis-esque? It’s not just me. I talked to Adam Silver about this, and he was like “Yeah, I heard that Malone, the coach over there, just straight up told Jokic to start shooting threes and fadeaways and stuff, to make him an international sensation…
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