The Denver Nuggets are located in the “Mile High City”, and they’re called the “Nuggets”. Is it a coincidence that marijuana is now legal in the state of Colorado? Yes. “Nuggets” refers to Colorado’s gold-mining past, not the nuggets of primo sticky icky which are available in every pharmacy and grocery store. “Mile High” refers…
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Ty Lawson 29 Points/6 Assists/1 Dunk Full Highlights (1/18/2013)
Pick a random NBA player who’s not Ty Lawson. Go ahead, just pick one. You’ve got one? Good. Okay, so has your chosen NBA player made 10 three-pointers in an officially-sanctioned NBA game? What’s that? He hasn’t? You suck at this. You should have picked Ty Lawson you dummy! (Apologies if you picked Mario Chalmers)…
Read MoreAndre Miller 18 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2013)
In the eyes of the basketball public, Andre Miller is a pretty good player, with a nice, consistent career. “But”, they claim, “he is definitely not a hall of famer”. The hall of fame probability thing on basketball-reference bears this out: he has a 1.4% chance of getting in. What a load of horsecrap. Seemingly…
Read MoreKosta Koufos 16 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2012)
While not taking part in austerity protests or fighting with Omer Asik for control of Cyprus, Kosta Koufos enjoys playing basketball for the Denver Nuggets. He represents a stark contrast to Javale McGee who is always flying around, flailing his arms every which way, and dunking everything that he touches. Meanwhile, Koufos is content to…
Read MoreEvan Fournier 8 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (12/22/2012)
20th overall pick Evan Fournier of the Nuggets is probably a total beast, but we will never know, since he doesn’t get any playing time in coach Karl’s extremely tight rotation. You know that if even Anthony “Wilt 2.0” Randolph fails to step on the court, a pasty little French person has no chance. I…
Read MoreJaVale McGee 19 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (12/16/2012)
JaVale McGee. Aside from having prodigious slamming ability, he is also possessor of the most photogenic parent in the history of the sport, Pam McGee. Every time her beautiful little baby JaVale whams viciously upon a foe, they show her in the crowd clapping and cheering. However, whenever JaVale missed badly on an out-of-control hook-shot,…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 19 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/3/12)
After my last Installment “Bismack Biyombo” the series “Vaguely Disappointing NBA Players” continues with Corey Brewer. The 7th overall pick in 2007, Brewer has been okay, but you kind of want someone a little better with that pick, you know? I’m not trying to put him down or anything but the fact of the matter…
Read MoreAndre Iguodala 23 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2012)
Andre Iguodala thought he had escaped the clutches of mediocrity when he when from Philadelphia to Denver. The Nuggets were supposed to be an up-and-coming young team built around the core of Lawson, Gallo and Faried. Surprise, the Nuggets suck too! Somewhere in New Jersey, David Stern is rubbing his hands together and laughing. “Andre…
Read MoreJaVale McGee 15 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2012)
While not tooling about Denver on his Segway or attempting to give away free Chipotle burritos, Javale Mcgee likes to make people look foolish with his wide array of devastating post moves. “People” usually being McGee himself. But here against Memphis he supplies the go-ahead put-back, and receives plenty of dap from his teammates. Anyone…
Read MoreJavale Mcgee 16 Points 3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/6/2012)
Human highlight reel Javale Mcgee continued his trend of amazing dunks and blocks against the Pistons on Tuesday. I’m pretty sure he and Andre Miller have some sort of psychic connection.
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