“Ten points isn’t really enough for highlights,” the inner voice says to me as I scroll through all of the day’s performers on Basketball-Reference. “Find somebody else.” Then, before I can stop it, even before I realize what my own hands are doing, I’m gathering clips from the Heat-Bulls game. “What are you doing, man?”…
Read MoreTag: Miami Heat
Josh McRoberts 14 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/7/2014)
Josh “McRawbits” McRoberts isn’t doing all that well since he left Charlotte. Meanwhile, Charlotte isn’t doing that well since McRoberts left them. Was not re-signing McBobs this year’s biggest offseason blunder? Not quite. Let’s take a look at some bigger ones: -Pistons didn’t trade Greg Monroe, now SVG plays Josh Smith at PF and brings…
Read MoreShabazz Napier 11 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2014)
I am not a very qualified person to write this description. I know very little of this enigmatic “Shabazz” character. The Heat drafted him so that LeBron would stick around, and we know how that worked out, so in his first major task Napier failed miserably. That’s not a good portent. Other than that tidbit…
Read MoreMario Chalmers 23 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
“Dad, I’m pretty sure this isn’t how they play basketball in the NBA.” Mario’s dad stopped playing defense and looked at his son. “Yes it is. Sure, they use something called a ‘ball’ instead of this seal head, but the idea is the same.” “No, dad. I’m talking about how hard you’re fouling me.” “Rio,…
Read MoreShawne Williams 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
“I can’t believe this,” Shawne muttered, lying on the couch of his cheaply-rented apartment. “I come all the way to Miami only to find out that there’s no LeBron James.” He continued to stew in his misery until his ringing phone disturbed him. “Hello, this is Shawne,” he answered. “Yo Shawne, it’s Luol,” responded the…
Read MoreShawne Williams 16 Points Full Highlights (11/2/2014)
“And here’s the locker room,” Pat Riley was saying. “It still kinda smells like champagne if you sniff carefully. Anyway, let me introduce you to some of the guys.” Shawne looked around. The Heat locker room wasn’t any nicer than any of his previous teams’ locker rooms, but what really mattered was the players in…
Read MoreLeBron James All 134 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)
In a flash of brightest golden radiance, the great circle comes to a close. A season that started with Andrew Nicholson 18 Points Full Highlights now ends with a LeBron James Dunkilation. From scrub to superstar. From moon to sun. From death to life. At the completion of the cosmic cycle, a light has emerged…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 9 Points/1 Lost Championship Full Highlights (6/15/2015)
With the game over, the championship awarded, and the season having drawn to a close, the TV was snapped off. As the man sat in his living room, remembering with fondness all the great games he had watched and all the great players he had witnessed, things began to change. The walls disintegrated, the furniture…
Read MoreJames Jones 11 Points/2 Minutes Full Highlights (6/12/2014)
The Heat’s season has been reduced to the Finals commentators arguing on whether or not uneaten donuts from dinner constitute “leftovers” or “dessert”. Meanwhile, in the background and totally ignored, James Jones lights up the court for the two minutes of playing time he gets, splashing three triples. I almost expected Justin Hamilton to appear…
Read MoreRay Allen 16 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (6/5/2014)
Ray Allen is 38 years old and can still get up there to dunk. In contrast, I’m in the prime of my life and I get excited if my fingers graze the net. It would be fair to ask, “What did I do in a past life for God to punish me so?” But let’s…
Read More