What’s wrong with the Knicks? That’s a stupid question. There is an obvious problem with the Knicks that was not present last year: JR Smith is playing like he’s a homeless man who just happened to wander in to Madison Square Garden. That and the fact that they aren’t hitting threes at the ridiculous rate…
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Beno Udrih 19 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2013)
Beno Udrih is a continuation of the Knicks’ strategy last year: find the oldest, most savvy vets and acquire them on reasonable deals. Udrih isn’t all that old, but what he lacks in years he makes up for in savviness. I’d consider him top 10 in that category. He seems like a good idea in…
Read MoreAndrea Bargnani 24 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2013)
“Come on Andrea, don’t you want to help mommy pick out some cereal?” Andrea Bargnani didn’t move. He was stopped in the pasta aisle, staring intently at one particular product. His mother grabbed his hand and tugged gently. “Andrea, let’s go.” “Can we get some of this?” The five-year-old Andrea asked innocently, eyes remaining fixed…
Read MoreTim Hardaway Jr. 14 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2013)
I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t really know a whole lot about Tim Hardaway Jr. I know his dad was a pretty good point guard in the 90’s. I think he may have gone to Michigan. Or Michigan State. I get the two confused sometimes. He can definitely dunk. And shoot threes. Those are…
Read MoreAndrea Bargnani 20 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2013)
Last off-season I compiled a list of all the players ranked in order of how likely they were to be traded. Here’s the beginning of that list. 1. LeBron James 2. Kevin Durant 3. Ekpe Udoh 4. Andrea Bargnani Those other dudes at the top wouldn’t be traded because they were way to good and…
Read MoreMetta World Peace 17 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
Using my powers of clairvoyance, I tapped into Metta World Peace’s mind after his good performance against the Timberwolves to see if I could gain some insight into the inner machinations of this enigmatic man. This is what I heard: “Teeth. Teethy teeth. One teeth two teeth three teeth. Teeth in my mouth. Mouthy mouth….
Read MoreChris Copeland 13 Points Full Highlights (5/16/2013)
Reggie Miller asks at the end of this video “Where has he been all series?”, “he” being Chris Copeland. The answer: buried on the bench because Woodson is a moron who doesn’t want to play offensively gifted players while the team is struggling to score. Is it a coincidence that the Knicks won once Copeland…
Read MoreIman Shumpert 15 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2013)
“So that’s the game plan for tonight. Does that sound good?” The team looked happily at each one another. But sitting in the corner of the locker room by himself, sulking and draped in a towel, Carmelo Anthony spoke up. “Yeah, I gots a problem. Where’s all the Melo isos? You talkin’ all about ball…
Read MoreKenyon Martin 12 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (5/5/2013)
Kenyon Martin sucks. One of my enduring memories of him is when he went 3 for 23 in an elimination game against the Spurs in the 2003 (an entire decade ago holy balls) playoffs. Most of those misses were horrible long jumpers. That’s the peril of having someone who can’t really shoot as your go-to…
Read MoreRaymond Felton 27 Points Full Highlights (4/28/2013)
I interviewed some Portlandians to gauge their opinions on Raymond Felton. Here’s a sampling of the responses I got. “That guy was such a bum. He got paid millions of dollars, it doesn’t matter if he wanted to stay with the Knicks, there’s was no excuse to dog it like he did. He played like…
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