Is there anything better than watching an offensively-gifted center go to work? Yes. There are a lot of things that are better. Winning the lottery, finding out Emma Watson secretly has a crush on you, getting into your dream college, putting on warm socks on a cold day, watching your favored team win the NBA…
Read MoreTag: Orlando Magic
Nikola Vucevic 26 Points Full Highlights (12/29/2014)
The Magic are bad yet again, despite the seeming quality of their roster. They’ve got a ton of players who you look at and say “I would def take him on my team he’s a stud sandwich”. Tobias Harris? Stud sandwich. Victor Oladipo? Stud sandwich. Nikola Vucevic? You guessed it. Stud sandwich. After much gathering…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 18 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (12/23/2014)
What a perfect time of year for Kyle O’Quinn to have a good game, given that he looks like a black Santa Claus. If the Magic didn’t stick him in the arena atrium after the game and have little kids sit on his lap to tell him their Christmas wishes, they missed out on an…
Read MoreElfrid Payton 11 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (12/19/2014)
In lieu of talking about how awesome Elfrid Payton is (moderately awesome, in case you wondering), I’m going to talk about how awesome Buffalo wings are. The chicken companies scored a major coup when they convinced the American public that legs and wings, formerly the least desirable parts of the bird, were actually really good…
Read MoreBen Gordon 16 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2014)
One of the most head-scratching contracts of the season was given out by the Orlando Magic, when they signed Ben Gordon to a 2-year, 9 million dollar deal. Not as bad as it seems, since the second year isn’t guaranteed, but come on. That’s a lot of dough for a known cancerous chucker. Like most…
Read MoreVictor Oladipo 21 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2014)
You know who’s holding Victor Oladipo down? Evan Fournier. Victor is trying so desperately to raise himself to an All-Star caliber player, and Evan Fournier has chained him to the floor, his disgusting face curled up into a sneer. The Magic should never have traded for such a greasy-haired ballhog chucker. It’s like they don’t…
Read MoreEvan Fournier 18 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2014)
Many weeks have passed without the cleansing light of the sun. Dark clouds roil overhead. The carrion birds circle. The terrible prophecy that the elders relayed to us is coming to pass. Evan Fournier isn’t doing as good with Victor Oladipo back in the lineup, just as the wise ones foretold. I was just sort…
Read MoreTobias Harris 27 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2014)
Sometimes when I do Tobias Harris highlights, I get a little bummed by the amount of points he is scoring around the rim. Layups and stuff are cool, but unless you are dunking it regularly it’s not all that engaging. Maybe it’s because I’m white, but I love highlights where people just splash a ton…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 21 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
It seems to me that, during Summer League (or was it preseason, can’t exactly recall), Kyle O’Quinn was showing off his new extended jumper. Flaunting it by shooting the occasional three-pointer. I despaired. Not everyone in the league has to have the long bomb in their arsenal. Kyle would be much better equipped with a…
Read MoreVictor Oladipo 27 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
Ouch. Heartbreaking loss for the Magic, who took one of the best teams in the league down to the wire. Almost isn’t good enough, not this time, and now, thanks to Steph Curry, Victor Oladipo’s great performance this game has been entirely invalidated. 27 points might seem good on paper. But basketball games aren’t played…
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