What a perfect time of year for Kyle O’Quinn to have a good game, given that he looks like a black Santa Claus. If the Magic didn’t stick him in the arena atrium after the game and have little kids sit on his lap to tell him their Christmas wishes, they missed out on an extremely lucrative potential revenue stream. It would even be an appropriate time to use their stupid catchphrase “That’s pure Magic!” What’s more Magic than starry-eyed children cuddling with a big bearded black guy and begging for material goods?
Maybe the Magic aren’t aware that I’m still not really employed right now. I would love to be an events coordinator for their organization. I keep sending resumes and stuff but I never hear back from them. Well, if anybody in the Magic organization watches this little video here, they can make MY Christmas dreams come true by hiring me at a minimum salary of $240,000 a year and free 24-hour access to the court so I can practice my jumpshot.