Channing Frye sat out all of last season with an enlarged heart. I understand that heart conditions are not a laughing matter, but I feel like people aren’t taking advantage of the vast potential for humor in this situation. If I were a commentator, an example call would sound something like this: “Channing sinks another…
Read MoreTag: Phoenix Suns
Gerald Green 21 Points/0 Dunks Full Highlights (11/3/2013)
Nihil. Zilch. Zero. A seemingly simple concept with limitless depth, containing interesting philosophical quandaries. What is the nature of nothingness? Is nothing something? If there are zero of something, how can we say that those things exist at all? Are there different flavors of zero? Why was its status as a number developed so late…
Read MoreMiles Plumlee Career High 18 Points/15 Rebounds/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/30/2013)
Warning: If you would prefer not to have your mind blown into the seventh spatial dimension, please discontinue reading this description immediately. In his first game with the Suns, Miles Plumlee scored more points (18) than he scored in his entire tenure with the Pacers (16). Holy dumb Christ. I have no idea if this…
Read MorePJ Tucker Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2013)
PJ “Pajamas” Tucker can be summed up in one word: who? The Suns are one of the least exciting teams in the league, and Tucker is probably one of the least exciting players, because if you’re not scoring a lot of points, dunking it a lot, or violently rejecting a bunch of shots, your game…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris 20 Points Full Highlights (4/13/2013)
I remember on the night the Morris twins were drafted they said that they were really sad, as this was going to be the first time they had been apart. Apparently the sadness was just too much to bear, as they are now reunited in Phoenix. This means that in order to make these highlights…
Read MoreJermaine O’Neal 18 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (4/3/2013)
The list of players who extended their careers by playing in Phoenix has grown one longer with the addition of Jermaine O’Neal. That, combined with the crazy German-knee-plasma-centrifuge thing he got done over the summer, has made him into a serviceable player once again. I didn’t know he could even still dunk, much less throw…
Read MoreP.J. Tucker Career High 18 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (3/28/2013)
Fans of the defunct children’s cartoon Hey Arnold may remember a certain episode where the titular Arnold is a member of a basketball team. There is also a kid named Tucker on the team, whose dad is the coach. The team’s offensive strategy is “pass the ball to Tucker”, even though he’s a seriously unclutch…
Read MoreLuis Scola 20 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2013)
Luis Scola is a really good post player. One of the best. But as you will see in these highlights, the Suns basically refuse to let him work on the block anymore and prefer him taking long jumpers. He does have a nice jumper, but telling Scola not to be a post player is like…
Read MoreWes Johnson 22 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2013)
If you look at my recent videos you may see a pattern. WES J = JEWS KYLE O = YOKEL TOBIAS H = ISOBATH (look it up, this is important) JJ B = JBJ??????? (meaning unclear) DARIUS M = RADIUMS RYAN A = ARYAN The pattern should be apparent to those versed in occult magick…
Read MoreKendall Marshall 11 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/18/2013)
Out of the top 15 picks in this year’s draft, Jeremy Lamb is the only to play fewer minutes than Kendall Marshall. Why is that? It’s not like the Suns are trying to win games this year. Why not let the rookie go out there and show his stuff? I guess the Suns management have…
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