Sacramento Kings – Page 45

Seth Curry 9 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2015)

The Kings suck. Again. Everyone knew this was going to happen, and yet, somehow, it still feels surprising. Every year, a little defiant part of me says “you know this could be the year Sacramento puts it all together”, and every year that little defiant part of me shuts up after seeing how bad they…

Ben McLemore 17 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2015)

What’s going on here? I really thought that Ben McLemore had turned the corner last year, and by this year would be Ray Allen 0.6 or so. Instead, he’s playing way less and randomly getting inserted and uninserted into the starting lineup. I do have some ideas for reasons as to why this may be:…

Omri Casspi 22 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2015)

Omri Casspi is the perfect example of Stockholm Syndrome in the NBA. He started his career with a Kings franchise that was just as hapless then as it is now. He enjoyed some measure of individual success, although he was randomly inserted into and removed from the starting lineup by Paul Westphal, and his teammates…

Kosta Koufos 16 Points Full Highlights (11/4/2015)

I’m well aware that, in typing these words, I will come across as a man who places too much concern in the physical appearance of other men. However, these words yearn to be released from my heart. I can hardly go another minute without expressing them. Kosta Koufos might be the ugliest player in the…

Willie Cauley-Stein 17 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/30/2015)

If you could hear it behind the insufferable cackling of the Kings commentators, you would notice a complaint stating that all anyone ever says about Willie Cauley-Stein is that he sucks on offense. It’s a fair criticism of his overall game; despite his anomalous performance tonight, Wet Willie is not the most adept big-man and…

Peja Stojakovic 39 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2001)

In an effort to become more relevant to my subscriber base, I’ve been doing some research on what makes the biggest names in sports punditry so big. In the course of my research I have discovered that one of the things they do is painstakingly craft and then broadcast what are known as “hot takes”….

Ben McLemore All 60 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)

Ben McLemore looked around at the basketball players who were gathered for the second round of the support group. It was a reunion of sorts; exactly a year ago, they had all been seated in a similar circle, in the same community center, in the same fluorescent-lit room. Just like last time, nobody really looked…

Derrick Williams All 64 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)

Rudy Gay had given up hope long ago. Here, in Derrick Williams’ dungeon, there was no such thing as hope. There was only dubstep. Dubstep composed by the corrupted brain of the one who had adopted the moniker “Professor Dubbenstein”. There was no respite from the hellish noise which echoed throughout the underground chamber nor…

Nik Stauskas 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/15/2015)

I swing my scepter of disapproval at this new nickname for Nik Stauskas. “Sauce Castillo”. I thought we had already discovered and agreed upon the correct nickname for him. Nik Sucksass. Get it? Because he kind of sucks ass right now? Instead of pantomiming stirring a jar of sauce after hitting that three, he should…

Omri Casspi Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (4/7/2015)

Omri Casspi and Reggie Evans sat at a table, waiting for their food. “Thanks for taking me out here Reggie, I never have tried this place before.” “Yeah, I was thinkin’, you know, you bein’ Jewish and all, why not take you out to Rosenblatt’s Deli, the best place in the whole damn valley for…