Amir Johnson might actually be one of the best players on the Raptors, but nobody ever talks about him. That changes right now. Because I’m talking about him. Right now. Kyle Lowry is probably the only player you could definitely say is better. DeRozan is just a chucker who can’t shoot threes. Lou Williams is…
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Jonas Valanciunas Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2015)
Jonas Valanciunas had grown to like the sport of American football. He still did not understand the nuances of the game, or, for that matter, any but the most basic aspects of the game at all. That was okay with him. Sports weren’t about deep analysis and careful scrutiny. They were about having fun and…
Read MoreJames Johnson 17 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/4/2015)
Does anyone else get reminded of LeBron James when they watch James Johnson? Obviously LeBron is way better and way more skilled, but their games resemble each other. They both are bulls when it comes to attacking the basket, and they rack up counting stats in similar ways. The tomahawk dunk that Johnson had tonight?…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2015)
It was television time once again in the Valanciunas apartment. Taking up his usual spot on the couch with his cat, Arvydas, purring happily next to him, he enswathed himself in blankets and cracked open the first beer. ESPN was playing on the TV; he hoped to catch some highlights of the NFL playoff games…
Read MoreGreivis Vasquez 25 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/2/2015)
After days of communications with my contacts in the Toronto area, organizing secret raids and implementing wiretaps, I have finally gotten a hold of a list of Greivis Vasquez’ new years resolutions. I also have a lot more information about Greivis that I’m not going to share due to its highly personal nature. Lets just…
Read MoreLou Williams 31 Points Full Highlights (12/28/2014)
Lou Williams is an example of what happens when you give a reasonbly talented player the ultimate green light. I’m surprised that he can convert any baskets at all, considering the intense green spotlights that are shining into his eyes at all times. There are a lot of players who could approximate his production, given…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 22 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (12/26/2014)
Sometimes I have to go back and re-read my old descriptions to remember what my opinions used to be. Things change so fast in the NBA that I can be right one day and totally wrong the next. Luckily I am mostly right, except when I called John Wall a bust just because he was…
Read MoreGreivis Vasquez 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/21/2014)
With Greivis Vasquez from Venezuela, Lucas Nogueira from Brazil, and Bruno Caboclo also from Brazil, the Raptors now lead the league in number of Mexican players on the roster, with three. Greivis was matched up against the Argentine Pablo Prigioni for much of the night, taking the total number of Mexican players who appeared in…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 22 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
I’m still reeling from that time T-Ross scored 51 points. I can barely see straight. Based on his play after that supposed performance I’m beginning to doubt that it even happened. Only 12 points per game this season? It just doesn’t make sense. Of course, the nature of reality makes it very difficult, if not…
Read MoreLou Williams 26 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/12/2014)
Lou Williams sat in his apartment, brand-new saxophone in hand. “Lou Williams is a really jazzy name,” he thought to himself as he looked at the shiny bronze instrument. “I must live up to the jazziness of my name by learning how to play jazz saxophone, and then I will be Lou Williams, famous jazz…
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