“Sloppy Joe” Ingles just squared off against perhaps his closest analogue in the league, the similarly flabby, the similarly slow, the similarly crafty Jared Dudley. The main difference between them is that Ingles shoots about 9% from the threezone, and also that Ingles looks like a dad who went to pick up his kid from…
Read MoreTag: Utah Jazz
Donovan Mitchell 40 Points Full Highlights (2/2/2018)
Donovan Mitchell does it again. That’s two 40-burgers on the season for him now, compared to zero for all the rest of the rookies. He has over half of the top 15 rookie scoring performances, if that first stat wasn’t good enough for you. You want more? I can find more. How about this: he’s…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/30/2018)
Big props to Joe “Sloppy Joe” Ingles (who doesn’t look like an NBA player at all) for taking it right to Kevin “Alternate Account” Durant (who really looks a lot like an NBA player) and leading his team to victory. He did almost all of his damage in the first half, giving the Jazz a…
Read MoreRicky Rubio 23 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (1/30/2018)
I’m one of approximately five people on earth who think the current Jazz branding/uniforms/colors are really sweet. I don’t know why everyone hates on it, it’s got the music-note “J”, what more do you freaks want? With that said, they should permanently adopt the alternates they had tonight. Forever. Keep the court with that goofy-looking…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 26 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2018)
That’s it. I’ve run out of stuff to say about Donovan Mitchell, here in the 23rd highlight video I’ve done for him this season. All avenues of inquiry/analysis/discussion have been traversed and followed to their conclusion. The only thing left to talk about is what he actually did in this game; theoretically, this 26-point highlight…
Read MoreJoe Ingles Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2018)
Joe Ingles AKA Jinglin’ Joe AKA The Trevally From Happy Valley AKA Sloppy Joe AKA Slo-Mo Joe AKA Jingles AKA Jingle Balls put up 21 points in short order tonight, tying his career-high. He must have known that, because as soon as he hit 21 with 7 minutes to go in the third quarter, he…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 23 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/20/2018)
If Donovan Mitchell really, REALLY wants to win the ROY award, he has to start having more assist-y nights like this one. He might win it anyway, because he’s such a highlightable player, but it’s easy to look at his super-duper high amount of shots attempted versus his assists as a short-ish shooting guard and…
Read MoreRodney Hood 25 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Hypothetical question: is Rodney Hood a bad enough basketball player where Jazz fans are allowed to boo him for missing shots? This is entirely hypothetical. Even if he was the worst basketball player in the world and bricked every shot he took, there’s no way Jazz fans would be so classless as to boo a…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 34 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
I thought I would be granted a respite after Donovan Mitchell put up enough 20-point games to surpass rookie Karl Malone in that category for the Jazz. I thought wrong. Not only are they still mentioning how many 20-pointers he has, but they’ve started talking about how many 30-point games he needs to be the…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 23 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2018)
At last! With his 19th 20-point game of his rookie season, Donovan Mitchell has finally passed Karl Malone in the ridiculously arbitrary and completely un-notable “most 20-point games for a Jazz rookie” category. Now the Jazz commentators can finally stop talking about it! Like we even needed some BS “record” to tell us how good…
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