I’m piloting a new online program tentatively called “Hill Shills”. How it works is I recruit unemployed males aged 18-25 from various message boards and gaming communities to spam George Hill-related comments on every NBA-themed video on YouTube. Video about LeBron James? There’s twenty dudes in the comment section saying “George Hill better than LeBum…
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Joe Johnson 21 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (4/15/2017)
This is Joe Johnson’s fourth highest-scoring game of the season. Combine that with his clutch shot at the end of regulation to avert overtime and snag the Game 1 Win, and you can only come to one conclusion: Iso Joe has STEPPED UP for the playoffs. He is EMBRACING THE SPOTLIGHT. He MAKES BIG SHOTS….
Read MoreBoris Diaw 19 Points Full Highlights (4/2/2017)
I didn’t really expect Boris “The Big Croissant” Diaw to be capable of a revenge game, but the tubby Frenchman must have had some unspent reserves of revenge residing in his glands because he just had an honest-to-god revenge game against the team that traded him last off-season. He did it in his typical slow,…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 19 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2017)
If you lined up every player in the NBA and asked random people off the street to pick the one guy who wasn’t actually an NBA player, 99% of people would pick Joe Ingles as the impostor. The other 1% would pick Tyler Ulis. But most people would look at The Big Didgeridoo’s flabby arms,…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 20 Points/5 Blocks/6 Dunks Full Highlights (3/27/2017)
When Rudy Gobert called out an unnamed teammate or teammates for playing selfishly, who was he referring to? Since I have inside sources in the Rudy Gobert camp (let’s just say that it never hurts to make friends with every sommelier you ever meet), I can shed some light on the situation in the form…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 26 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2017)
It’s been a while since All-Star weekend, but it is still blowing my mind that Rudy Gobert was not selected to participate. Is it because he sometimes looks like an alien? Uh, that’s called discrimination, and it’s NOT okay in 2017. Aliens are people too. Here we have yet another game where Rudy Gobert “have…
Read MoreRudy Gobert Career High 35 Points/8 Dunks Full Highlights (3/22/2017)
For hours, Rudy Gobert had been waiting patiently for his guest to wake up. He didn’t feel like waiting anymore. Retrieving a nearby bucket of ice water he had set aside specifically for this purpose, he dumped the entire contents onto the head of the unconscious man strapped to the chair. The shirtless man immediately…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 16 Points/8 Blocks Full Highlights (3/20/2017)
8 is the most shots anyone has blocked in a game this season, tied with both of the Lopez bros. Whiteside is really slacking this year, apparently, because his name is nowhere to be found on this list of dudes who have blocked a lot of shots. That means Gobert, as of right now, is…
Read MoreRudy Gobert 20 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2017)
Like many other centers whose last names don’t end with “-okic”, Rudy Gobert is a constant double-double threat, but a negligible triple-double threat. In a league where triple-doubles are such a common occurrence that nobody even cares that Elfrid Payton had two of them in a row, this is unfortunate. Let’s put it this way:…
Read MoreDante Exum Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2017)
It’s really super great that Dante “Wrecks ‘Em” Exum has finally had a good scoring game in the NBA. All these years of waiting for Jazz fans has finally paid off. The future begins now, and I am so ultra stoked for Exum and all those who never stopped believing. Really, really happy. Wow. Just…
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