Utah Jazz – Page 35

Derrick Favors Career High 35 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2015)

Derrick Favors drove along a barely-used desert road. It had been almost an hour since he had seen any sign of civilization, here in the barren Utah flatlands. The only lights he had seen were his rental car’s headlights, illuminating the night when he dared to use them. He was totally lost now, and he…

Derrick Favors 23 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)

Oh, wow. Tough loss, Jazz fans. Really thought you might be able to pull that one out. Will make a great section for the Warriors’ championship DVD, at least. In light of this tragic defeat, it is time to partition blame! Yes, that will make us feel better. Let me get my sceptre of blame-partitioning….

Alec Burks 21 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2015)

I’ve made a lot of highlights, so when I make comments on the subject, you can be assured that I know what I’m talking about. So believe me when I say this: Alec Burks has some of the most “highlighty” highlights of any player. His ratio of lame buckets to cool buckets is off the…

Gordon Hayward 33 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2015)

If you’ve been wondering where all the Utah Jazz highlights are, thinking “Why does DownToBuck hate the Jazz he is such a hater god why doesn’t everyone love the Jazz Quin Snyder is a genius look at these defensive stats with Gobert on the court look look LOOK DAMMIT!”, first of all you need to…

Raul Neto 10 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/25/2015)

“Psst, Raul! Over here!” Raul Neto, walking out to the team bus after a well-executed victory over the Clippers, stopped in his tracks. He could have sworn that somebody had just whispered his voice… “I’m in the trash can, you dummy!” said the voice. There was a trash can nearby, and the voice indeed did…

Rodney Hood 20 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2015)

“He’s playing like he’s in his prime right now.” What the flip is that supposed to mean? This is almost as confusing a remark from the Jazz commentators as “He’s an elite player” in reference to Alec Burks. It would be a kind of understandable thing to say if Rodney Hood was playing particularly well…

Alec Burks 24 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2015)

Acceptable occasions for you to say the phrase “Oh baby it hurts”: -When karaokeing to Millie Jackson’s 1973 hit “It Hurts So Good” -When your girl uses a little too much teeth -When your girl uses any teeth at all -When doing the ghost pepper challenge for your fledgling YouTube channel -When the basketball team…

Derrick Favors 25 Points/7 Blocks Full Highlights (11/12/2015)

I’m thinking you guys must just take all your meals at fast-food establishments, or maybe your mom still cooks for you, because these frickin’ cookbooks are not frickin’ moving. I should have known better than to market a “Flavors of Favors” cookbook to a bunch of neckbearded NBA fans who have never cooked a meal…

Rudy Gobert 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/10/2015)

Uh oh. Five shown assists in a highlight video of a big man? You know what that means! Handoffs! It’s like watching the NFL up in here. Lots of handoffs, and one actually sick pass that probably could have just been shown by itself. This happened last time Rudy Gobert had a bunch of assists….

Alec Burks 24 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2015)

I’m not even going to discuss Alec Burks in this description. No, this description is going to talk about the state of TV commentary in the Utah Jazz organization. Frankly, the Jazz commentators just gargle huge taint. I know it’s not their fault that they have to talk about Mountain America Credit Union after every…