Kemba Walker 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/3/12)

High volume chuckers who are good on the college level don’t normally translate very well to the NBA. Kemba Walker is no exception, shooting an absolutely abysmal 36.6 percent from the field last year. But his percentages, like the Bobcats, are better this year (correlation does not imply causation, except when it does). He’s now…

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Jameer Nelson 19 Points/13 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2012)

Remember the combo of Magic and Kareem? What about Kobe and Shaq? Cousy and Russell? Well you can add another combo to that storied list: Nelson and Vucevic. Jameer “No Fear” Nelson sliced and diced through Dwight Howard’s lackadaisy defense, scoring 19 points and dishing 13 dimes against his former teammate. In the locker room…

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Arron Afflalo 30 Points Full Highlights (12/2/12)

The Orlando Magic are not a very good team this year, but they are going to have to step up their sucking if they want to have a chance at Shabazz in the draft. That means no more inspired performances by Arron “Aaron” Afflalo, who scored 30 points, playing a huge role in vanquishing the…

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Mike Conley 18 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2012)

The Grizzlies are cruising early in the season, mauling several opponents to death and clawing others to shreds. Last night the Spurs took them down in OT, but only with the aid of several highly-trained zookeepers equipped with tranquilizer darts. Mike Conley is leading the charge, consistently finding his skilled big-men in their preferred spots…

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Damian Lillard 24 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2012)

The Portland Trailblazers are trying very hard to be the worst team in the league. The presence of the best rookie in the league (no, not Meyers Leonard you dope, it’s Lillard) makes this goal harder to accomplish, but they are still doing it thanks to the laughably bad troupe of scrub bench players which…

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OJ Mayo 27 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2012)

Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo has a stupid name. What the heck were his parents thinking? “Ovinton, yeah, that sounds cool but what if we gave him another name?” “Yeah, maybe something like Anthony.” “I like it. But it needs more swag. Maybe put a J in front of it. J’Anthony” “That sounds great babe, yo, who…

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Gordon Hayward 21 Points/Sick Chasedown Block Full Highlights (12/1/12)

Gordon “Smooth Jazz” Hayward breaks out his bass and slaps out a funky groove to the tune of 21 points versus the decidedly square Rockets defense. With his bro Foye manning the saxophone, Burks on trumpet, and Kanter pounding the skins the Utah Jazzmen will certainly be a combo to watch.

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Larry Sanders Triple Double 10 Points/12 Rebounds/10 Blocks Full Highlights (11/30/12)

Larry “The Sandman” Sanders is known around the league primarily as a spastic shot-blocker who fouls a lot. It’s true: 7 fouls per 36, but also 4 blocks. Here he turns Pekovic and Love from ferocious wolves of the arctic forest into timid blanket-swathed puppies who quake in fear at Sanders’ flailing arms of fury….

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Gerald Wallace 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/30/2012)

Like some other guy with the last name Wallace who plays for a New York team, Gerald Wallace enjoys shooting threes but is not particularly adept at making them. He entered the game shooting a vomit-inducing 24% from the long line, but saw fit to chuck six threes regardless. And he made five of them!…

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Bismack Biyombo Career High 14 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/30/12)

Bismack Biyombo is not a man known for his scoring prowess (hehe). So when I saw that he had scored 14 points, not over the course of several games, but in a single game, I was stunned. Stunned, I say. The Sixers defense should be ashamed of themselves.

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