Larry “The Sandman” Sanders is known around the league primarily as a spastic shot-blocker who fouls a lot. It’s true: 7 fouls per 36, but also 4 blocks. Here he turns Pekovic and Love from ferocious wolves of the arctic forest into timid blanket-swathed puppies who quake in fear at Sanders’ flailing arms of fury….
Read MoreMonth: November 2012
Gerald Wallace 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/30/2012)
Like some other guy with the last name Wallace who plays for a New York team, Gerald Wallace enjoys shooting threes but is not particularly adept at making them. He entered the game shooting a vomit-inducing 24% from the long line, but saw fit to chuck six threes regardless. And he made five of them!…
Read MoreBismack Biyombo Career High 14 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/30/12)
Bismack Biyombo is not a man known for his scoring prowess (hehe). So when I saw that he had scored 14 points, not over the course of several games, but in a single game, I was stunned. Stunned, I say. The Sixers defense should be ashamed of themselves.
Read MoreEnes Kanter Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (11/30/12)
Enes “The Menace” Kanter decides to live up to his potential for at least one game and scores 18 points in a mere 15 minutes. Pretty good, eh? But get this: he grabbed 7 offensive rebounds with out a single defensive one. Surely this must be some sort of record, right? Well, it’s not. Popeye…
Read MoreCharlie Villanueva 19 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2012)
Before the season started I created a list (available upon request) of players (including nicknames) ranked by how likely it was that I make highlights of them. Every NBA player. And there right at the very bottom: 414. Charlie “Cancer Patient” Villanueva So here you are, gazing in bewilderment at the video title, wondering what…
Read MoreBen Gordon 26 Points Full Highlights (7 Threes) (11/28/2012)
What’s up with Ben Gordon? He was such a stud with the Bulls, but for some reason he did nothing but collect butt splinters on the bench in Detroit. Everywhere he goes he shows that he can put up some nice stats, and still he can’t get good minutes on the frickin’ Bobcats. He must…
Read MorePatrick Patterson 22 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2012)
Patrick Patterson. I’m pretty sure he’s a basketball player, and I think he plays for the Houston Rockets. No, wait, that’s Marcus Morris. These alliterative names sure do confuse me. Huh? You say Patterson -is- on the Rockets? Okay. So here we see this guy named Patrick don a Rockets jersey and score 22 points,…
Read MoreTerrence Ross Career High 19 Points/4 Huge Jams Full Highlights (11/27/2012)
Remember Vince Carter? Of course you do. He’s only the greatest dunker of all time. His tenure with the Raptors featured some of the greatest jams the world has ever seen. But after his acrimonious departure, a void was left in the hearts of Canadians everywhere. A void previously occupied by amazing slamma-jammas. But weep…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 18 Points Full Highlights (11/26/2012)
Ersan Ilyasova AKA The Ersanator AKA Turk Dirk AKA Arsen Ilyasov the 30-year-old Uzbek has sucked very bad so far this year. The internet is flooded with angry fantasy owners who expected the ILL-man to continue his production from last year, but instead got a pasty blob of inability. He can no longer shoot or…
Read MoreCaron Butler 33 Points/9 Threes Full Highlights (11/26/2012)
Time for impersonations. Guess who this is: BINGO! BIIIIIINGOOOOOOOO! OH MEEE OH MY! It’s the Clippers’ insufferable and moronic colorman Ralph Lawler! Caron Butler had a devastating performance and set a record for three-pointers made by a Clipper, but it was all ruined by Lawler’s childish catchphrases and grating diction. I’m all for having fun…
Read More