Ever since my label dropped me, I’ve been trying to get my rap career back on track. Mostly that involves me using hard drugs and accosting pedestrians for change, but I did manage to get back into my home studio to lay down some rhymes. When I say “home studio”, I actually just mean the low-quality mic on my phone, but it will have to do for now, since I don’t have the label backing to go into a real studio.
Rap’s supposed to be about hardship, right? Anyway, here’s my latest creation:
(original rhymes do not steal)
“Terrence Ross hails from the hipster mecca of Portland, Oregon
It shouldn’t excite you to see dudes with no clothes on
If it does, I don’t want to make assumptions
But you probably want it in between your buns
Growing up with a ball in his hands
Exciting all the people in the stands
T-Ross now has to play in Canada of all places
But he’ll still dunk it in all y’all faces
Ross the Boss, making people fools
Ross the Boss, playing with power tools
Ross the Boss, screwing all dem bitches
Ross the Boss, that herpes sure itches
Sort of a bust, drafted where he was
There’s still time, but not much, cuz
DTB makes judgements unreasonably quickly
His ideas about players change quite fickly
I already decided that T-Ross will suck
And even if he beasts my position remains stuck
I just like to say controversial things
To make up for my small ding-a-ling
Ross the Boss, needs to be score consistently
Ross the Boss, right now he scores unreliably
Ross the Boss, contracting venereal diseases
Ross the Boss, from all those women he pleases