Manu Ginobili 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2014)

Alright everybody, it’s time, once and for all, to settle the greatest debate in the modern NBA.

Is Manu Ginobili a Euro?

This is a multifaceted question, with many angles to consider before we can make a final judgement. Supposedly he was born in Argentina, which is the same as Mexico. This means that he is Mexican, not Euro. Case closed, right?

Not so fast! First off, he doesn’t look Mexican. Mexican people have sombreros. And take a look at the name of his signature move: “Euro-Step”. That’s hard proof right there.

With that, we’ve settled the main part of the debate. Manu is indeed a Euro, despite his supposed place of birth. But I want to go deeper. What kind of Euro is he, exactly?

I’ve done significant analysis on his facial features, cross-checking them with various anthropological databases to determine what country in Euro he might be from. The answer: Slovenia.

That might end the debate right there, but I’m not done yet. The “Manu is a Slovenian” hypothesis seems sound until you look at his name. If he were really from Slovenia, his name would be like “Marjan Golob” or something. So we can rule that out, definitely. He is not Slovenian despite looking like he is.

The most distinctive feature of GInobili is obviously his bald spot. Thus, it would make sense that he is from the country with the highest incidence of male-pattern baldness. And which one would that be? The Czech Republic!

So there we are. Manu Ginobili is a product of the Czech Republic, a country which is a Euro country so he is also a Euro. Consider this mystery solved.

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