Cole Aldrich 10 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2014)

Cole Aldrich isn’t good at many things, so, in order to portray him in a positive manner, I have invented a stat which he can lead the league in: Shoulder Width/Head Size Ratio.

Just look at those shoulders. Did he have a plastic surgeon stick in some silicone shoulder implants? With those babies he could just muscle his way through a crowd and not feel a thing. Meanwhile, his head looks like a marble perched on top of a plank of wood. A gap-toothed marble. His SW/HS is at least 4.2, maybe even higher.

The question is, who is worst in the league in this new stat? It’s somebody with skinny shoulders and a big head. Giannis Antetokounmpo is probably sucking at this stat. Justin Hamilton and Eric Gordon too. Time to hit the weight room, fellas.

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