After being freed from King Vaughn’s dungeon, Moe Harkless has emerged from his comatose state to actually do okay in the past few games. By “do okay”, I of course mean “get minutes”. Moe’s been a bit garbagey since the coaching change, but that can be explained by his ass cheeks getting chemically fused to…
Read MoreMonth: March 2015
Harrison Barnes 25 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (3/18/2015)
Does anybody else get really mad when fans start getting excited in the arena? I don’t know, it just annoys me for some reason, since my way of watching basketball is to stare, mouth agape, at the screen, with no emotion or feeling. When the commentators start getting louder and louder, and the crowd all…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 22 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2015)
Enes Kanter listened to the voicemail message again. “Hiiii! You’ve reached Jesseca’s voicemail, which means I can’t take your call right now! Leave a message and I’ll get back to you!” Of course, Enes didn’t leave a message. He couldn’t. Jesseca had surely viewed their budding relationship just as any cheerleader would view a relationship…
Read MoreHedo Turkoglu 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/18/2015)
I thought Hedo Turkoglu was done for sure. Like, doner than Kobe Bryant. That’s how done I thought he was. You can go back to two seasons ago he still looked like he was all out of gas, and even large amounts of bull shark testosterone injected directly into his nads couldn’t give him the…
Read MoreKevin Martin 37 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2015)
Does YouTube not realize how time-sensitive these NBA highlight vids are? I can’t wait around for hours waiting for these things to “process”, a term I take to mean “endure the hell of YouTube’s byzantine application architecture”. God damn it. Every minute these things aren’t up means tons of disappointed people not able to watch…
Read MoreNikola Mirotic 25 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2015)
It took a whole bunch of injuries to almost all of the Chicago Bulls’ roster, but Nikola Mirotic is finally getting decent playing time. What took so long? Tom Thibodeau might be a good coach, but his minute allotment is just crazy, and when he gets fired it will be understandable. Niko has taken it…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/18/2015)
How am I supposed to write a description when Hawks-Warriors is going on RIGHT NOW? Dammit. Fine. Marcus Smart is a basketball player. A good one. Despite his volcanic complexion, he has shown himself to be capable of taking shots with the basketball, as well as passing the basketball so that others may attempt shots….
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/17/2015)
“You made it, Giannis. I’ve been expecting you.” Giannis narrowed his eyes, trying in vain to make out any detail of the speaker. After so long in the dimly-lit corridors of the temple, his vision was dazzled by the purity of the bright white light. The man (god?) walked closer, but the chamber he resided…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope 24 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2015)
Someone on the Pistons’ coaching staff must have told the players that it is okay to take pull-up three pointers in transition. At first I thought it was just Spencer Dinwiddie being a rookie and Brandon Jennings being Brandon Jennings. But now I’ve noticed Kentavious Caldwell-Pope doing it as well. This seems to be an…
Read MoreLangston Galloway Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2015)
Future of the franchise Langston Galloway scoring a career high the same game the normally awful Knicks defeat the defending champions? This must be the greatest night for Knicks fans since Willis Reed hit that shot and everyone got all excited for some reason. Langston was a nice surprise when he got called up from…
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