Kenneth Faried 29 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2015)

How much do you think it costs to touch Kenneth Faried’s hair? I’m betting it’s a lot, because of how soft his dreads look, but I don’t actually know. Is there, like, a price guide or something? Is there an NBA-hair-touching expert who I can consult?

I asked him on twitter a bunch of times, I even DMed him but he hasn’t gotten back to me yet. He must be flooded with inquiries about this, so I don’t really blame him. That’s why he needs to put up some guidelines somewhere, where curious would-be customers can compare follicle-fondling plans.

Personally, I’d be willing to be up to 500 dollars just for 30 seconds of hair-time. I paid half that for Kelly Olynyk, whose locks are about half as good, so I think that’s a fair price. Maybe someone can tweet Kenneth this vid? Or maybe I’ll just use some hashtags, someone once told me that those are what you use when you want to do something on the internet. #KennethFaried #Dreads #FollicleFondling #HairSoSoft #ButImSoHard

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