The Schaub Memorial Orphanage was dark. Donatas walked the silent halls, halls which had been decorated by the children’s artwork. It was a much more modern place than the orphanage in Lithuania had been. There were just two children in each room, instead of twenty or thirty. There was no fireplace, and even if there…
Read MoreMonth: May 2015
Donatas Motiejunas All 150 Post Moves Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Post Move-ilation Part I)
“I would now like to bring up to the podium Mr. Donatas Motiejunas, the new honorary director of the Schaub Memorial Orphanage!” To a rousing chorus of applause, Donatas sheepishly got up from his seat and walked up to the front. His dream was coming true. When he got to the podium and squinted through…
Read MoreMatthew Dellavedova 19 Points Full Highlights (5/14/2015)
Regular season Delly is content to play his role on the team. Playoff Delly is an entirely different beast, a beast who only desires to watch Kyrie get injured so that he can take over the entire game. This “Playoff Delly” is a result of a series of botched electroshock treatments and misperformed surgeries to…
Read MoreAndre Iguodala 16 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (5/13/2015)
I’ve complained about this before, but I’m going to complain about it again: I hate (HATE) when home crowds get stirred into an ecstatic frenzy by exciting plays made by their team. Just sit down, losers. People are trying to seriously watch the game and they don’t want to see you wave your arms and…
Read MoreClint Capela 8 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (5/12/2015)
This has been a tough series on Rockets fans, emotionally. After the game 4 loss where their team showed almost no resistance, they seemed ready to schlepp off to South America and drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid in the Guyanese rainforest. It seemed a forgone conclusion that their favored team would lose the series, so why prolong…
Read MoreTrevor Ariza 22 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (5/12/2015)
Trevor Ariza sat at his locker before the game. He thought about all the fans out there who wanted to see the Rockets win, not just this game but the whole series against the Clippers. But he knew it would be hard, and he tried to get himself in the zone. James Harden walked up…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo All 95 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
(Jan. 20, 2014) Dear diary, Today my friend Ersan took me to the mall. There were malls in Greece too, but I never got to go. I never had the money to spend in them. Now that I have money, Ersan and I went just to hang out. I could have done that in Greece…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 14 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (5/11/2015)
Dënniß ßchrööder is one of the keys to the Hawks winning this series after they tied it at 2-2. That’s my hot take, and trust me, it is HOT. With John Wall out with a smashed hand, Sessions is the starter. That leaves ßchrööder matched up on either Garrett Temple or Will Bynum most of…
Read MoreNene 17 Points Full Highlights (5/9/2015)
Nene AKA “The Brazilian Bruiser” did not play very well the first two games of this series, a fact that was not lost on the commentators, who felt the need to bring it up after every shot that Nene made. I suppose if I was on-air and needed something to talk about, Nene going a…
Read MoreOtto Porter 17 Points Full Highlights (5/9/2015)
All the good sportswriters have the ability to put pop-culture references into their stories. I see it time and time again. If I want to be included in that elite group, it only makes sense that I must do the same. I tried this before with an earlier Otto Porter video, comparing him and his…
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