Screw off Paul Pierce. It’s fine when you do it to a team that everyone hates and has an annoying fanbase, like the Raptors. It’s not fine when you do it to a team that hasn’t won it all since 1958 (when they were still in St. Louis), a team with a fanbase who has…
Read MoreMonth: May 2015
James Jones 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (5/6/2015)
James Jones is getting a little long in the tooth, and it’s time for him to start searching the league for one last payday. He knows his time with his current team is up, after only a single, marginally disappointing, year. Who can blame him for desiring a change of scenery? His unique talents, talents…
Read MoreOtto Porter 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (5/5/2015)
Randy Wittman is smarter than we all thought. There was a reason, after all, that he didn’t play Otto Porter very much until these playoffs. Why reveal your cards before the hand is over? It does no good for other teams to be able to get a reliable scouting report the Ottoman. Play him sparingly,…
Read MoreRamon Sessions 21 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2015)
At least the Wizards had a true backup point guard. The Clippers had to play an out-of-position Austin Rivers and an out-of-the-league Lester Hudson due to an injury to their star. Ramon Sessions, while not very good this year, is at least fit to hold John Wall’s jockstrap (remind me again how many 24-assist games…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 17 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2015)
If my dad was an NBA coach I would be super embarrassed by anything he did. That’s actually not too different from how it is now, but the problem with a dad-coach is that all the embarrassing stuff he’d do would be in front of the media. I would lock myself in an internet- and…
Read MoreIman Shumpert 22 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2015)
Iman Shumpert’s flattop is looking a little healthier than it was earlier in the season. Not as voluminous, but definitely sturdier. It used to resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa, veering rakishly at an angle due to its own immensity. Or, alternatively, looking like someone took a Dumpert on his head. Now it’s a classy…
Read MoreZach LaVine All 39 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
The worst thing about YouTube is that it discriminates against people who feel no emotions. And robots. If you fall into one of those two categories, DTB is going to do you a favor: I will provide emoji representations of the emotions you should be experiencing at certain crucial points in the video. That way,…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll 24 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (5/3/2015)
Think about how excited you are for DeMarre Carroll scoring 24 points. If you’re even slightly excited, then congratulations; you’re among the .00000002% of people in the world who share your excitement, however minimal it may be. Now consider how excited you would be if Carroll had taken his 21-point first half effort and replicated…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 286 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part II)
Stephen listened with annoyance at the voicemail message on Klay’s phone, giving his teammate a long opportunity to answer the call. “You’ve reached Klay Thompson’s phone, but he’s not available to take your call. Please leave a message…” Hanging up, Stephen shook his head. The messages he had been leaving were all being ignored. Even…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 286 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Three-ilation Part I)
Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson sat in their getaway car, almost uncertain what to do next. They had just sneaked into Steve Kerr’s house, into his very bedroom, and stolen the magical three-point shooting amulet which he had been wearing around his neck. Now that they had the enchanted object, they realized that neither of…
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