The first thing the NBA should do if they want to get more fans is to abolish the “no hanging on the rim” rule. Telling basketball players not to hang on the rim is like telling football players not to spike the ball after touchdowns. If JaMychal Green, or anybody else, totally whaps it on…
Read MoreDay: November 3, 2015
Julius Randle 16 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
At one point, Julius Randle was certainly the league leader in my new proprietary advanced stat, TIP/36. In case you need a refresher, the “TIP” part is an acronym for “Thumbnail Images Produced” and the 36 stands for “36 minutes”. In his first few games, Randle was producing thumbnail images at a rate unparalleled since…
Read MoreRodney Stuckey 23 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
Indiana Pacers: least compelling team in the league this year? Let’s take a look at the facts: – Paul George was not ever a superstar and really isn’t now – Monta Ellis is no fun at all – No more Hibbert, which should be good, except now they don’t have any identity – Boring color…
Read MoreLuis Scola 19 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
Question: what effect did his stint with the Suns have on Luis Scola? Hypothesis: the Suns ruined Luis Scola forever when they tried to turn him into a three-point shooter. Data: Basketball-reference is really screwing me over right now, how would you like it if I errored your internal server you piece of crap. Pending….
Read MoreEvan Fournier Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
The interior of the ornately decorated French villa, located somewhat conspicuously within an Orlando suburb, was dark and silent. The normally bustling foyer and living room were empty. A slumping figure sat in the darkness, head in its hands. Evan Fournier knew he had screwed up. He knew he should have been more diligent terminating…
Read MoreBobby Portis 10 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
That was quick! I didn’t think we’d get to see any Bobby Portis at least until midway through the season. The Thibs era has truly come to an end, I guess. Granted, the minutes he received tonight were the garbagiest of garbage time, but we can’t complain. Real minutes against real NBA players are always…
Read MoreDoug McDermott Career High 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
Good news for Bulls fans: Doug McDermott is officially out-Korvering Kyle Korver. Bad news for Bulls fans: Derrick Rose is officially garbage. We’ll leave that second point for later. Does it even matter if your MVP-winner sucks when you’ve got Jimmy Butler and freshly-minted beast Dougie McBuckets? No. All that hype I had for Doug…
Read MoreJeremy Lamb 20 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2015)
There is one thing that people are talking about right now regarding Jeremy Lamb. What’s the status of his sleazy glam-rock band, Jeremy and the Little Lambs? Last I heard, they were playing for near empty venues, with frontman Jeremy chewing out drummer Kendrick Perkins for never showing up to practice, and crying in the…
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