I am continuing to pay reparations to Serge Ibaka in penance for totally ignoring him the first fifth of the season. Under terms outlined by the United Nations, Following is a list of steps I have taken to make the situation right and ensure that Ibaka’s human rights are no longer violated so flagrantly:
-I made this video
-I wrote this description
-I sent him some flowers that I ordered online
-I tweeted Zach Lowe to tell him to write a Serge Ibaka article
-I took steps to scrub the internet of that photo where Serge is wearing sort of see-through pants and you can kinda see everything that’s going on down there
-I made a thumbnail image where Ibaka has a cool expression on his face rather than the dopey expressions from all my other thumbnails
-I refrained from looking up pictures of his wife to make judgements about her attractiveness
These steps will never be enough, but I hope that they go some small distance in repairing the anguish and pain I have inflicted on Ibaka’s heart.