Khris Middleton 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

It is time for the next installment of my continuing series where I revisit old video descriptions and laugh at how stupid my opinions were! This episode we deal with Khris Middleton, who managed to get a highlight video made of him while he was withering away on the Detroit Pistons: “Khris “K-Mid” Middleton is…

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Kenneth Faried 21 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

Kenneth “Fareak” Faried: good power forward? It’s hard to say. His advanced stats point to him being good. Since advanced stats are, by definition, more advanced than normal stats, they are a good thing to use when you want to determine the goodness of a player. But even his normal stats also look good. He…

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Al-Farouq Aminu 16 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

“Hey, Al-Farouq! I could use some help from a big guy like you to move some boxes around in my office.” By now, Al-Farouq recognized GM Neil Olshey’s voice. He also knew that hearing Neil’s voice was usually a bad omen. But he couldn’t just turn down the invitation to help; such a request could…

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Patrick Patterson 18 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

It’s easy to forget that Patrick “Star” Patterson is even still in the NBA. He’s not nearly bad enough to get noticed for sucking, and he’s not nearly good enough to get noticed for excelling. He doesn’t get a ton of minutes, he doesn’t do much with those he does get. He plays in a…

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Kyle Korver 19 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

At this rate, my Kyle Korver end-of-season three-ilation is gonna look really crappy compared to last year’s version. Well, maybe it will look about the same, but it will be a hell of a lot shorter. Which is a shame, because the corresponding Stephen Curry video is gonna be like 200 percent sicker. In case…

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Will Barton Career High 32 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

Now is when we start questioning what Portland was thinking when they let Will Barton go. Not in the future, not in the past. Right now, at this very moment. That is the time when we send emails to Neil Olshey with the subject line of “wtf were u doin when u trade willie buckets”…

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Gorgui Dieng 20 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

Karl-Anthony Towns tentatively approached Gorgui Dieng, who was sitting at his locker, listening to a leak of Kanye’s upcoming album to get himself ready for the game. Karl motioned for Gorgui to take out his earbuds, which he did. He then looked blankly at the rookie, slightly annoyed at the interruption. “Uh, Gorgui, I was…

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Matthew Dellavedova 20 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

You guys are so lucky. Hear that part at around the one minute mark? The part where Austin Carr melodiously moans “Delly, Delly, Delly!”? Yeah, I was seriously considering looping that audio clip throughout the entire duration of the video at a low volume, but still loud enough to be unsettling. Nothing implies “total mental…

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