Kris Humphries, feeling more than a little nervous, walked into the Suns locker room for the first time. He was not good at speaking to large groups of new people, but his message was too important to go unsaid. When he entered, a number of Suns player looked ready to introduce themselves, but Kris headed…
Read MoreDay: February 19, 2016
Ersan Ilyasova 16 Points Magic Debut Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
You stare at the video title in disbelief. If you are a Pistons fan, your disbelief is multiplied tenfold. “B-b-b-but DEE TEE BEE!” you yell at your computer screen, “Ersan Ilyasova scored more than sixteen at least a d-d-dozen times while on the Pistons and you rarely made highlight v-videos for him!” It’s true, my…
Read MoreCristiano Felicio 8 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
What a game for Cristiano Felicio! I’ve been waiting since the season started to highlight him, but I’ve had to wait for him to pass Cameron “I’m the worst player in the NBA” Bairstow on the Bulls’ depth chart. And now he has! 14 minutes for Christ Fellatio, and none for Mr. Worst Player. Every…
Read MoreLuol Deng 30 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
Luol Deng was on the Cavaliers at one point. Does that blow your mind or what? I don’t feel like anyone even noticed that happen. In most people’s memories of his career, he jumps straight from Chicago to play out his twilight years in Miami. I even made highlights of one of his games in…
Read MoreJoffrey Lauvergne Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
Someone needs to tell Joffrey Lauvergne that his neckbeard looks horrible and needs to be removed. It can’t be just anybody, obviously. If I were to tell him, he would dismiss me as a know-nothing internet commentator who is merely jealous of his classy facial hair. If we could find the person responsible for convincing…
Read MoreMirza Teletovic 25 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
Mirza Teletovic didn’t sign up for this. When he joined the Suns, he was expecting to at least challenge for a playoff spot. Instead, he gets to spend a prime year of his career on a team that is imploding. What a ripoff. There should be provision in place in the CBA where if the…
Read MoreZach LaVine 22 Points/0 Free-Throw-Line Dunks Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
You can argue the merits of both finalists in this year’s dunk contest. Zach LaVine, Aaron Gordon, they were both good to me, they both threw down some great dunks, maybe someone else should have won, blah blah blah, who cares. It’s over now. There are more pressing matters to discuss. For example: what ancient…
Read MoreBrandon Jennings 18 Points Magic Debut Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
Just call me Nostrabuckus. A mere three weeks ago, I wrote these words in a description on a Brandon Jennings video: “The time has come to find a new team for Brandon Jennings.” Not only did I successfully predict that he would be traded, I also correctly presaged his destination and got most of the…
Read MoreDoug McDermott Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
Doug McDermott opened his eyes. He could see nothing but an indistinct gray-white haze. He reached up to rub his eyes, but found once he removed his hands that the haze remained the same. He could feel himself lying on some kind of surface, but once he picked himself up off of it, he found…
Read MoreTobias Harris 21 Points Pistons Debut Full Highlights (2/19/2016)
It is confirmed: Scott Skiles HATES Tobias Harris. People on the internet were trying to tell me that he didn’t. Soundbites released to the media were telling me that he didn’t. I even placed hidden microphones all up in the Magic practice facilities, and while Skiles never, that I heard, explicitly said “I hate you,…
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